Business Ethics Comic Strips - Page 94
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1000 Results for Business Ethics
View 931 - 940 results for business ethics comic strips. Discover the best "Business Ethics" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 19,
2009
Tags meeting, rating, performance, reviews, attributes, explaining, ridiculous, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "We have new software for performance reviews." The boss says, "It has a category for everything." The boss says. "Fish-faced nincompoop! Bingo!"
Friday August 21,
2009
Tags meeting, finances, idea, ridiculous, asking, unsure, corrupt, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We're getting into the financial services game." Dogbert says, "That way all of our products can be imaginary." Man says, "Can you give me reliable investment advice?" Man says, "Yes, as far as I know."
Monday August 24,
2009
Tags sitting, meeting, explaining, project, annoyed, angry, lazy, wasting, time, business
Transcript
Wally says, "I spent the first part of the week installing our new productivity software." Wally says, "Then I used the rest of the week trying to make it interface with our time reporting system." Wally says, "So far all it can do is tell me how much time I'm wasting in this meeting."
Wednesday August 26,
2009
Tags performance, review, meeting, suggestion, insult, ridicule, angry, business
Transcript
Performance Review The Boss says, "You need to get better at anticipating problems." Dilbert says, "If I could anticipate problems, I wouldn't have agreed to work for you." Dilbert says ,"You seem angry, I did not see that coming."
Tuesday September 01,
2009
Tags meeting, elbonia, angry, threatening, kung fu, frustration, stuck, business
Transcript
Industry Standards Meeting in Elbonia Dilbert says, "Let's adopt my company's specs as the industry standard." Man says, "Your specifications are weak, and so is your kung fu." From that day on, all standards meetings were held in the mud of Elbonia. Man says, "Can't...Kick! Stupid...mud!"
Saturday September 05,
2009
Tags introduction, consultant, stupidity, Advice, confused, questioning, business
Transcript
The boss says, "I hired my unemployed golf buddy to consult." Dilbert says, "What are his qualifications?" The boss says, "He has two qualifications: He's unemployed and he's a golf buddy." Man says, "I recommend firing the whistleblower and playing nine before it gets dark."
Wednesday September 09,
2009
Tags analysis, idea, suggestion, complaining, Advice, greed, science
Transcript
Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."
Thursday September 10,
2009
Tags assignment, job, work, scheme, guessing, cruel, mean, business
Transcript
The boss says, "Ted, your new responsibility is to keep the pigeons from defiling our ledges." Ted says, "Are you hoping this awful assignment will cause me to quit?" The boss says, "Not at all." Ted says, "Are you hoping I'll fall out a window?" The boss says, "Maybe you should stop guessing now,"
Monday September 14,
2009
Tags sitting, talking, meeting, idea, changing, greed, dangerous, mean, cruel, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "We need to make our pricing plan more confusing." Dogbert says, "And change our packaging to that hard plastic that always cuts the consumes' hands." Dogbert says, "I've been in a bad mood since everyone started talking about capping my excessive pay."
Tuesday September 15,
2009
Tags testing, meeting, bosses, ceo, pay, explosion, head, greed, business
Transcript
Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "I can't tell if my pay is excessive enough." Dogbert says, "So I created a lab to test the reaction of hobos to my different pay scenarios." Wally says, "It's your turn to find the next hobo."


