Delivery Man Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Delivery Man

View 931 - 940 results for delivery man comic strips. Discover the best "Delivery Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coworker, #request, #people, #project, #generic advice, #sitting at desk, #tail wagging, #hate, #angry, #replace, #inspire

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the Generic Manager Man says, "We need more people on the project." Dogbert says, "Figure it out. Work smarter not harder. Make a plan. Move some things around. Adjust priorities. Just get it done. Give me a status report." Man says, "That did nothing but make me hate you." Dogbert says, "I can replace you with someone who will pretend to be inspired."

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #training, #new software, #trick, #hire, #job opening, #interview, #technical expert, #provide

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #powerpoint proboscis, #medical condition, #nose grows, #long nose, #lie, #pinocchio, #close eyes, #grit teeth, #nose through face, #pain, #sting, #clench fists

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok says, "It's a medical conditions called sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis. My nose grows when other people lie." Man says, "I'm very concerned and interested in your condition, and not just because I'm trying to sell you something." Asok says, "Please stop." Asok says, "It might sting when I pull it out."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nose job, #snout, #dog nose, #health insurance, #surgery, #veterinarian, #career, #match looks, #engineer, #shake hands, #art department, #medical, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nose job, #homeopathy, #art department, #annoyed, #irrational, #hurt feelings, #scorpios, #horoscope, #astrologer, #mean, #insult, #snout, #dog nose

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #email, #laptop, #boring, #time suck hole, #yell, #thorough, #play music, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fired, #pink slip, #cleaned out desk, #hold box, #letter of reference, #loser sign, #angry, #grit teeth, #tease

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I cleaned out my desk. Would you be willing to give me a letter of reference?" The Boss says, "How about the letter 'L'? That seems about right?" Man thinks, "Must? not? burn... bridges." The Boss says, "Too soon?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #school, #coach, #time management, #rudeness, #stand on stool, #angry, #yell, #swear, #type, #cell phone, #wag tail, #education, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #upgrade, #cellphone, #clerk, #sport chair, #laptop, #stare

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I'd like to waste the better part of my afternoon trying to upgrade my phone." Dilbert says, "I'll just set up my sport chair, and use my laptop while you mumble and stare at your monitor for what seems like forever." Dilbert says, "Look at me! I'm beating your system!" Man says, "Quiet! I'm trying to stare."