Delivery Man Comic Strips - Page 94
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1000 Results for Delivery Man
View 931 - 940 results for delivery man comic strips. Discover the best "Delivery Man" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday April 02,
2010
Tags #training, #new software, #trick, #hire, #job opening, #interview, #technical expert, #provide
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I need training to use our new software." The Boss says, "Pretend we have a job opening for a technical expert in that field. Then ask applicants how they would do whatever it is that you need to do." Man says, "Does you company provide training?" Dilbert says, "'Provide' is a strong word."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday April 09,
2010
Tags #powerpoint proboscis, #medical condition, #nose grows, #long nose, #lie, #pinocchio, #close eyes, #grit teeth, #nose through face, #pain, #sting, #clench fists
Transcript
Asok says, "It's a medical conditions called sympathetic Powerpoint proboscis. My nose grows when other people lie." Man says, "I'm very concerned and interested in your condition, and not just because I'm trying to sell you something." Asok says, "Please stop." Asok says, "It might sting when I pull it out."
Wednesday April 14,
2010
Tags #nose job, #snout, #dog nose, #health insurance, #surgery, #veterinarian, #career, #match looks, #engineer, #shake hands, #art department, #medical, #engineering
Transcript
The Boss says, "Our policy is to put people in careers that match their looks." Asok says, "I thought that was a coincidence." The Boss says, "Your botched nose job makes you too unconventional to be an engineer." Asok says, "No!" Woman says, "Welcome to the art department." Man says, "Man, I wish I was brave enough to get a snout."
Friday April 16,
2010
Tags #nose job, #homeopathy, #art department, #annoyed, #irrational, #hurt feelings, #scorpios, #horoscope, #astrologer, #mean, #insult, #snout, #dog nose
Transcript
Asok in the art department Man says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your botched nose job." Asok says, "Maybe you could try homeopathy to fix your irrational belief in things that have no scientific basis." Man says, "You sort of hurt my feelings there." Asok says, "Didn't your astrologer warn you about Scorpios?"
Monday May 10,
2010
Tags #meeting, #email, #laptop, #boring, #time suck hole, #yell, #thorough, #play music, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I hope you don't mind if I do email during the boring parts of your meeting." Dilbert says, "I don't want to be dragged into your time suck hole." Coworker says, "You are kind of a time suck hole." Man 2 says, "I'm thorough!"
Thursday May 13,
2010
Tags #job interview, #master plan, #identity theft, #look-alikes
Transcript
Wally says, "If I hire you, you'll get minimum wage to attend meetings and pretend you're me." Wally says, "My plan is to get hired for several jobs and replace myself with low-paid look-alikes in each one." Man says, "My plan is to bury you in a shallow grave and assume your identity." Wally says, "You don't interview well."
Thursday May 27,
2010
Tags #fired, #pink slip, #cleaned out desk, #hold box, #letter of reference, #loser sign, #angry, #grit teeth, #tease
Transcript
Man says, "I cleaned out my desk. Would you be willing to give me a letter of reference?" The Boss says, "How about the letter 'L'? That seems about right?" Man thinks, "Must? not? burn... bridges." The Boss says, "Too soon?"
Friday June 04,
2010
Tags #school, #coach, #time management, #rudeness, #stand on stool, #angry, #yell, #swear, #type, #cell phone, #wag tail, #education, #technology
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Welcome to Dogbert's school of time management." Dogbert says, "Today you will learn that rudeness and good time management are the same thing." Man says, "Answer my #@*% question!" Dogbert says, "Keep typing, Beverly! He doesn't exist."
Monday June 14,
2010
Tags #upgrade, #cellphone, #clerk, #sport chair, #laptop, #stare
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'd like to waste the better part of my afternoon trying to upgrade my phone." Dilbert says, "I'll just set up my sport chair, and use my laptop while you mumble and stare at your monitor for what seems like forever." Dilbert says, "Look at me! I'm beating your system!" Man says, "Quiet! I'm trying to stare."
Tuesday June 15,
2010
Tags #cellphone, #app, #application, #look, #shoot, #head, #pow, #zap, #funny noise, #angry, #wag tail, #trick
Transcript
Man says, "Look at this app!" Dilbert says, "Look at this app." Dilbert says, "You said the Dogbert app is supposed to make a funny noise." Dogbert says, "I'll bet it did."