Mandatory Meeting Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

977 Results for Mandatory Meeting

View 931 - 940 results for mandatory meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Mandatory Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Changing The Website

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Changing The Website - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, business, internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We need to change one of the links on our website. Boss: Pull together a study team, do a focus group, get buy-in from all departments, and present it at the next division meeting. Dilbert: I changed it while you were yammering. Boss: Let us never speak of this again.

Jargon

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Jargon - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags confusion, employees, irritation, language, meetings, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: This was a great meeting. Are there any questions? Dilbert: I didn't understand any of the jargon you used for the past hour, so I have no idea what this meeting was about. Man: Why didn't you say something sooner? Dilbert: That's a good strategy for people who have hope.

Doomed Humanity To Annihilation

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Doomed Humanity To Annihilation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags aliens, attack, boss, communication, managers & supervisors, mistake, office workers, technology, laser, nasa

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The laser communication prototype you built for NASA accidentally vaporized the alien ship heading our way. If it got off a message to its home planet, your stupidity has doomed humanity to annihilation. Also, you didn't complete your mandatory training in chair safety.

Meeting Robot's Son

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Meeting Robot's Son - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, hungry, Kids, robot, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: I'd like you to meet my son. As you can see, he is half-human and half-machine. Dilbert: Does he talk? Robot: Only when he's hungry or he can't find his charger.

Health Problems

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Health Problems  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags age, complaining, health, office, office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Marketing Lies

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Marketing Lies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Dilbert, boss, headphones, competition, meeting, marketing, lies

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our new headphones product is better than the competition in every way. Boss: Excellent. I'll get marketing involved to tell a bunch of lies about all of that. Dilbert: Why would they need to lie? Boss: They're kind of set in their ways.

Potluck Celebration

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Potluck Celebration - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, office workers, potluck, friday, team, celebration

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss in meeting: i scheduled a potluck to celebrate the team's success. dilbert: a potluck is more like a penalty than a celebration. dilbert: but i guess it's better than working. the boss: it starts at 8 pm on friday.

Think Of You As Family

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Think Of You As Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office, office workers, business, fired, boarding school

View Transcript

Transcript

team meeting in conference room. the boss: i think of all of you as family. dilbert: you fired ted yesterday. the boss: i also sent my son to boarding school. what's your point?

Wally And His Priorities

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally And His Priorities - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, meetings, office, office workers, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: wally, can you attend a meeting at 10 am tomorrow? wally: sure. here's a list of my projects so you can tell me which one you want to fail while i'm wasting my time at your meeting. the boss: was there a chance one of them would succeed? wally: well played

Lawyers Take Years

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Lawyers Take Years - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, lawyers, office, agreement, years

View Transcript

Transcript

team meeting in conference room. dilbert: we can close the deal as soon as our lawyers tweak a few minor sentences in the agreement. the boss: how long will that take? dilbert: probably several years. the boss: what if i help them? dilbert: add 3 years.