Men 25% More Pay Comic Strips - Page 94

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #twins, #meeting, #clone, #cooler clone, #clear view, #engine purr, #business

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Tina: Is it awkward being in the same meeting as a cooler version of yourself? Scoot back so I can get a clear view. This guy really makes my engine purr. A little more.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 2012's comic on:


Tags #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #time travel, #rumour, #apple phone, #20 pixel camera, #picture of thoughts, #time machine, #future, #most handsome man, #android phone

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Dilbert: I heard a rumor that Apple's next phone will have a 20-megapixel camera. Topper: That's nothing! I heard you'll be able to hold the phone to your head and take a picture of your thoughts. And even that's nothing. Their next phone will be a time machine! Future Topper: Here I am from the future! I'm the most handsome man in the universe! Topper: So am I! Wally: He makes a good case for buying an Android phone. Both Toppers: I love me more than me. Topper hijack

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2012's comic on:


Tags #cubicle workplaces, #lowers intelligence, #work ethic, #office, #boss

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Dilbert: I would be more productive with my own office. Studies show that cubicle workplaces lower intelligence. Boss: You can't be sure that's true because your cubicle lowered your intelligence. Dilbert: Wait... why does that make sense? Boss: Because I have an office.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2012's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #gotcha fees, #airlines, #make moneky, #terrible battery life, #high five

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Dogbert: You need to have more "gotcha" fees. That's how airlines make their money. For example, you could design your product to have a terrible battery life, then sell extra chargers for ten times your cost. CEO: And maybe the chargers could break after two months. Dogbert: High five!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2012's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #work ethic, #coaching, #angry, #boos, #employee, #attitude, #business, #psychology

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Boss: I stopped by to do some coaching. Dilbert: How's that work when the employee is more capable than the coach in every conceivable way? Boss: Let's start with your attitude. Dilbert: Said the angry guy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #leader, #manager, #bad managers, #hinesty, #business

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Boss: I see myself as more of a leader than a manager. Catbert: That's what all bad managers say. I'm just being honest. Boss: That's what all jerks say.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 26, 2012's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #work ethic, #busy work, #cheerful, #form of insanity, #worthless assignments, #professional help, #psychology

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Asok: I completed the busywork you assigned to me and I'm still cheerful! I don't know how I do it. I really don't. I assume it's a form of insanity. Do you have more worthless assignments I could do before I seek professional help? Boss: Yup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 2012's comic on:


Tags #suspicion, #assemble data, #boring work, #quality over quality, #poor politics, #office politics

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Boss: I need you to assemble a huge amount of totally incomprehensible data. Make it boring so no one looks at it too closely. I'm aiming for quantity over quality. Dilbert: I have a bad feeling about this. Boss: No one would pay you to feel good.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #jewelry, #rich people, #expensive watch, #entire net worth, #ceo, #employee

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Asok: Holy moly! Your watch costs more than my entire net worth. CEO: Thank you. Asok: This isn't a "thank you" situation. CEO: You're welcome?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 27, 2012's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #bullying co workers, #friendly suggestions, #looks like bullying, #schedule time, #waste time

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Catbert: I got a report that you've been bullying co-workers. Dilbert: That's dumb. I make friendly suggestions about how people could waste less of my time and it looks like bullying. Catbert: Let's schedule a time to talk more about this. Dilbert: Or-- just a friendly suggestion-- you could not waste my freakin' time.