Same People Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Same People

View 931 - 940 results for same people comic strips. Discover the best "Same People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vogue, #madonna, #hug liar, #gandhi, #dancing, #lunch table

View Transcript

Transcript

"So I was dancing with Madonna and went "Vogue" like this. She liked the idea and made a video." "You've either had a fascinating life or you're a huge liar. I'm still undecided." "Ghandi said the same thing. SO I said, 'I'm not eating until you take it back.'"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cut corners, #bungling, #budget process, #skip design, #testing and manufacturing, #product recall, #shipping, #juggle

View Transcript

Transcript

"Project meeting" "I'll have to cut a few corners because of your bungling of the budget process." "If we skip design, prototype, testing and manufacturing, we can afford the product recall." "We'll save on shipping, too." "Is bungle the same as juggle?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profits improving, #have raise, #giving raises, #profits will plummet, #oppression, #communism

View Transcript

Transcript

"Now that our profits are improving, can I have a raise?" "If I start giving people raises, then profits will plummet and we'll be nowhere." "Does your bonus depend on how effectively you oppress me?" "If you don't like it, try communism."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sublet space, #business case, #risks and drivers, #changed mind

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "We only have two people on the third floor. Let's move them to our empty cubes here and sublet the space." The Boss: "Write a business case with all the risks and business drivers and I'll consider it." Dilbert: "I changed my mind. We shouldn't so anything." The boss: "I need a business case for that, too."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #need to talk, #phone rings, #time stops, #frozen look

View Transcript

Transcript

"Shut the door. We need to talk about what you've done." "What?!" RING "Gaaa!!! Please don't leave me hanging! What have I done??!" "Hello." "My watch stopped. No, wait, I think time itself stopped!!!" "Note: Time-frozen people look exactly like this."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #great design, #big seller, #attractive, #honor flaw, #functionality, #sex crimes, #accuses user, #cute

View Transcript

Transcript

"Product designer" "The new product is selling like crazy, thanks to it's great design." "Sales" "It's so attractive that people over look its minor flaws in functionality." "For example, it accuses the user of sex crimes whenever company comes over." "And it's cute!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #no annual raises, #ouift, #cafeteria napkins, #colonize mars, #distractions, #guide conversation away

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources The Boss: How do I tell people that there won't be any annual raises?" CAtbert: If someone tries to raise the topic, guide the conversation away." "...And thats why my outfit is made of cafeteria napkins." "Do you think we'll ever colonize Mars?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #multitasking, #ignorant bafoon, #coffee, #authority, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I can't finish everything today. Boss: Try multitasking. Carol: Multitasking? Is that like being an ignorant baboon and drinking coffee at the same time? Boss: I missed what you said because I was drinking coffee.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #absent mindedness, #cruelty, #managers & supervisors, #entrpenuer, #bullying, #lying, #manipulation, #verbal abuse, #huge jerk, #biograophy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: You need to act more like an entrepreneur. Entrepreneurs make decisions that will end in failure 90% of the time. They motivate people through bullying, lying, manipulation and verbal abuse. Entrepreneurs make their employees work so many hours that their personal lives and their bodies fall apart. Boss: I've been doing all that stuff for years. Dogbert: Has it worked? Boss: No. Dogbert: Well, in that case, you're not an entrepreneur. You're just a huge jerk. Boss: Is that why no one is writing my biography?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #liosuction, #disappeared, #head one, #eating donuts, #being fed donuts

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "How did the liposuction go?" The boss: "Good." "People say I look younger. And thanks to my self-discipline, I'll keep off the weight." "One more."