Successful People Comic Strips - Page 94

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Successful People

View 931 - 940 results for successful people comic strips. Discover the best "Successful People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustrated, #angry, #cruel, #mean, #complaining

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert says, "Being evil used to mean something." Catbert says, "These days I can cut salaries by 10% and people will thank me for not firing them!" The boss says, "So you want to help me eat employee lunches from the break room fridge?" Catbert says, "I'd like that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #drinking, #coffee, #crime, #talking, #shivering, #disturbing

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally dabbles in crime Wally says, "A lot of people think crime is a bad thing." Wally says, "But it all depends on how you pick your role models." Wally says, "I lean toward governors, bankers, athletes and sith lords." Dilbert says, "I feel a coldness."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #presentation, #plan, #lying, #marketing, #screaming, #guilt, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "In phase one, we'll tell our customer that the system failure won't happen again." Not us! The boss says, "In phase two, when it happens again, we'll act surprised." The boss says, "Then we'll say a software patch is being installed." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! We're bad people!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #excuse, #lie, #work, #avoiding, #acting

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "The successful work - avoider combines a fake eagerness to help with just a hint of likely failure." Man says, "Wally, I need load calcs in an hour." Wally says, "No problem! Unless my computer keeps crashing like it did all morning." Man says, "I'll ask someone else." Wally says, "I am begging you to let me help!" Asok thinks, "Wow!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #complaining, #bureaucracy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "It takes an average of five people to approve any action in this company, and at any given time, three are on vacation." Wally says, "Should I violate our company culture of consensus building, or just sit around and do nothing for lack of buy-in?" The boss says, "Did you mention flailing around in futility?" Wally says, "I was hoping you forgot that option."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #remembering, #confused, #asking, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I just forgot what it's like to be one of the little people." The boss says, "It's liberating because I have no empathy for your suffering." Dilbert says, "And how is this different?" The boss says, "Now I have a reason."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #consultant, #information, #credit, #managing, #costume, #confident, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Man says, "Consumer confidence is up, and that means more people will buy our products." Dogbert says, "I'm off to make random management changes so I can take credit for the improved economy." Dilbert says, "It's working?" The Boss says, "Sales are up!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #training, #raising hand, #firing, #confused, #surprised, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Who needs training to keep up with technology trends?" Ted says, "Me." The Boss says, "You're fired. I only want people who already know how to do their jobs." Ted says, "I did not see that coming." Wally says, "They don't have a class to fix that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #meeting, #title, #meaningless, #proud, #mean, #cruel, #deflated, #orders, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says ,"Employees are so important to me that our head of human resources will get a C-level title." Dogbert says, "Edna will be our CPO, or Chief People officer." Dogbert says ,"Take a seat over there by the chief artificial coffee creamer officer."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #television, #shows, #options, #action movie, #cooking show, #content, #Entertainment

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Well, we can watch a cooking show and imagine what delicious food tastes like?" Dilbert says, "Or an action movie so we can imagine killing people while cracking jokes." Dilbert says, "Maybe I can reword those choices to make us feel less like psychopathic hobos." Dogbert says, "Please do."