Time Travel Comic Strips - Page 94

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View 931 - 940 results for time travel comic strips. Discover the best "Time Travel" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2005's comic on:


Tags #vacation schedule, #more than accrued, #actual vacation, #remain upbeat, #quit, #quit on vacation, #slavery

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"Here's my vacation schedule." "Good." "Whoa! You're planning to take more vacation days than you've accrued." "It's okay because I'll accrue the days before the actual vacation." "No can do. What if you quit before then?" "I'm literally afraid to hear the answer to that question." "Think, man! If you quit and have vacation at the same time..." "I'LL BE DOWN TWO PEOPLE!!!" "It's hard to remain upbeat." "Do you still live here?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 2005's comic on:


Tags #personal items, #can't be higher, #cucblicl wall, #aesthetic reasons, #doll, #einstein doll, #try this concept, #stock plunge

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"Alice, company policy says that personal items can not be higher than the cubicle wall." "Just out of curiousity, what is the logic behind that bizarre policy?" "We want to maintain a smooth line-of-sight for aesthetic reasons." "Let me see if I understand your point of view." "My Einstein doll makes the cubicle so hideous that our stock will plunge" "Now if I take it down..." "Gasp! It's so beautiful now! My soul is filled with music! My life has meaning!" "Yea! I just noticed that when I look at this doll and you at the same time, you look hideous."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 03, 2005's comic on:


Tags #cubicle, #offcie, #meeting, #privacy, #geographically dependant, #benchmark test, #business

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The boss: "Dilbert, come to my office for a minute." Dilbert: "What's in your office?" The boss: "You and I will be there." Dilbert: "If you just want to talk, we can do it right here and save us both some time." The boss: "Maybe we need privacy, did you ever think of that?" Dilbert: "Do we need it?" The Boss: "No, that was just an example. There are many, many reasons why we should talk in my office." Dilbert: "I'll be fascinated to find out what kind of information is geographically dependent." The Boss: "Now, do you have the results from the Benchmark Tests?" Dilbert: "Yup. In my cubicle."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 14, 2005's comic on:


Tags #evil wind blowing, #dark soul, #evil director, #human resources, #employee survey, #over reacted, #well being, #business

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"I feel an evil wind blowing my way." "My soul is filling with darkness...Suddenly I am cold, oh, so cold." Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "Hello-o-o, Asok." "GAAA!!! What are you doing here?!!" "It's time for the annual Employee Satisfaction Survey." "Perhaps I overreacted. I don't see how this could possibly be bad." "It is evident from these questions that you care about my wellbeing!" "I love the part where they think I'm here to help." Purr Purr Two Weeks Later "They're delighted with their benefits. It looks like we can save some money there."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2005's comic on:


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"The trouble started when you insisted on giving inspirational names to the conference rooms." "I scheduled a project meeting for the 'Quality' room and no one knew where to go." "Some people ended up in the 'Teamwork' room while others went to the 'Excellence' room." "By the time we sorted it all out, someone else was scheduled to use our conference room." "Then it took three weeks to schedule another meeting when everyone could make it." "But half of the team went to the 'Action' room and sat there while we waited for them in the 'Good Planning' room." "I thought this was the budget meeting."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 04, 2004's comic on:


Tags #vp of marketing, #new version of prodcut, #testamnet, #customers, #new version, #raw data, #customers hate us

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As Vp of marketing, I am proud to introduce the new version of our product. Behold!! This sia testament to what can happen when you listen to customers. we asked customers what they wanted the new version to do. Six months ago I gave that raw data to you engineers. Today we see the result. Its the first time Ive seen it myself. whats it do? BAM!! Our customers said they hate us.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #internet problems, #clicking, #try something else, #not working, #crazy boss

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"Dilbert, come in here." "I keep clicking on this link and nothing happens." "Click click click click." "See?" "Try something else." "Why would I do that?" "The definition of insanity is: doing the same thing and expecting a different result." "Hey, it worked this time!" "What we have here is a bad precedent." "They called me 'crazy.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2004's comic on:


Tags #girlfriend, #two probelms, #looks, #personlaity, #extreme makeover, #fascinated by new person, #9 good tsories, #social liability, #relationships

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Dilbert: why can't I find a girlfriend? DOgbert: you have two problems: your looks and your personality. Dilbert: Hmm,two itsn't bad. I can fix my looks by getting and extreme makeover. Dogbert: you'll still need to improve M.T.T.S.F. Dilbert: What? Dogbert: mean time to story failure: Its a measure of ho long you can be fascinating to a new person. Dogbert: Ive been counting and you only ave nine good stories after you use them up youre a social liability. Dilbert: I saw a horse kick a woodchuck over a fence. Dogbert: still only nine.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #college, #emplyee, #first pay check, #freak out, #know about her, #paid in cash, #dedcutions, #education

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Dilbert: do you want to watch when the new employee looks at her first paycheck? Wally: ooh-ya! Wally: what do we know about her? Dilbert: She's target out of college, all of her prior jobs paid her in cash. wally: perfect. dilbertL ear guards on. My first paycheck deductions???? Hmmm. how bad could it be? WAHT THE.... Next time no coffee. eh?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 2004's comic on:


Tags #accomplishments, #past 3 months, #cutsomers, #misconceptions, #objective, #home computer, #paraphase, #flew to wrong city, #upgraded computer

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The Boss: "What? You have no accomplishments this month???" "What did you do for the past three months?" Dilbert: "Well, I spent much of that time correcting misconceptions that you gave to our customers." "And I attended meetings with you to keep you from creating additional misconceptions." "I spent a month working on an objective that you forgot to tell me didn't matter." "I flew to the wrong city for a meeting because you confused Houston with Austin." "And I upgraded your home computer so you wouldn't have to pay someone to do it." "Allow me to paraphrase: Blah, blah, blah, you didn't accomplish anything."