Vp Stalks Alice Comic Strips - Page 94
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Share June 09, 2007's comic on:
Asok: I need this software to do my job. The Boss: "The software budget is spent. Just share a computer with someone who has this software." Alice: "Why don't you take your tiny mittens and a thermometer to hell and wait for a sign that it's your turn."
Share June 16, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "Remember to charge your time to the appropriate project code." "Unless your project is unfunded, in which case the time codes won't work and you'll need to falsify your time report." Alice: "Are any of our projects funded?" The Boss: "This is the embarrassing part."
Share June 22, 2007's comic on:
Asok: "Alice, may I ask you a question? Alice? Alice?" Asok: "Gaaa! Am I so unimportant you feel no need to acknowledge my existence???" "Am I totally unimportant?" Catbert: "Hey, it's a bunch of talking clothes!"
Share June 26, 2007's comic on:
Nancy, the employee with serious personal problems Nancy: "I'm in love with a medical school cadaver." Alice: "Do you ever think that maybe your personal problems are caused by your own bad decisions?" Nancy: "How's it my fault that my boyfriend is acting cold?"
Share July 25, 2007's comic on:
Alice: I can't stop punching people who deserve to be punched. For example, your high rates and ridiculous combover make me want to punch your face in. Therapist: But you won't right? Alice: Lets see what happens when I regain the element of surprise.
Share December 19, 1999's comic on:
Susan is standing in front of the boss who is sittind at his desk. Susan says: "May I get a laptop computer?" The boss answers: "No, but you can order one for me." Dilbert hands a sheet of paper to the boss and says: "May I go to this technical seminar in Hawaii? The boss answers: "No, but you can sign me up for it." Alice shows the boss a calendar and says: "May I take this Friday off so I have a four day weekend?" The boss answers: "No, but you can sit in for me while I take that Friday off." Wally says to the boss:"May I eat this caterpillar?" The boss answers: "Give me that." The boss is sitting at his desk all by himself and thinks: " I hope they never recognize the pattern." while he is chewing the caterpillar.
Share March 12, 2000's comic on:
The Boss calls Alice as she is walking by: "Alice!" The Boss tells Alice: "Stirrup pants are not professional attire." Alice explains: "I just filed a patent that will earn fifty million in license fees for the company." The Boss is impressed: "Really? Wow." He continues: "But its no excuse for bad pants." Alice says: "Whatever. Did you sign the budget request I gave you last week?" The Boss answers: "No... I've been busy with various pant-related crises." The stirrup pants are pulled over the Boss's head. He thinks: "Here's another."
Share August 26, 2006's comic on:
"Alice, we're doing some construction and I have to move you to a slightly larger cubicle." "Muwhahaha! I will use the power of my slightly larger cubicle to rule my coworkers with an iron fist!" "Get out of my way, you worthless microcuber!!"
Share January 01, 2007's comic on:
The boss: Our meat and potatoes is knowing how to sandwich in our product without causing the other vendors to beef. "We'll get our just desserts when they drink the Kool-Aid. Then we can have our cake and eat it too." Alice: "Are you on a diet?" " The boss: Shut your pie hole."