Waste Time Comic Strips - Page 94
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1000 Results for Waste Time
View 931 - 940 results for waste time comic strips. Discover the best "Waste Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 23,
2007
Tags management retreat, golfing, swimming, drinking, getting massages, count printer papaer, meaningless work assigned, dead body, Sports
Transcript
The Boss: "I'm off to the management retreat." "I won't be reachable because I'll be busy golfing, swimming, drinking, and getting massages." Carol: "And attending meetings?" The Boss: "I don't see how we'll have any time for that." "While I'm gone, I have a few tasks for you to do." "Open all the packages of printer paper and make sure they have the right number of sheets." "Then crawl into the heating ducts and see if you can find what died in there." Carol: "It's my last boss." the Boss: "Spray him with something lemony."
Monday August 13,
2007
Tags presdient, first 100 days, carve name, furniture, switzerland
Transcript
"If you are elected president, what will you do in the first hundred days?" "I figure it will take me at least that long to carve my name in all the furniture." "Then it would be time to wipe that smug smile off of Switzerland's face."
Wednesday August 29,
2007
Tags evil director, human resources, happy things, working, sensors, alert management, pleasure areas brain, blood flow, happier not knowing, business
Transcript
Catbert: evil director of human resources Catbert: "Some of you have been thinking about happy things when you should be working." "These sensors will alert management any time the pleasure areas of your brain have more blood flow." "I was happier not knowing." ding ding ding ding ding ding ding
Thursday September 27,
2007
Tags generic management, thing, whats his name, awrd, avoiding minutiae
Transcript
The Boss: It's time for some generic management. "Did you talk to what's his name about the thing?" Alice: "Um...Yes." The Boss: "There should be some sort of award for avoiding minutiae."
Monday October 08,
2007
Tags charge less, enginners, honesty, stop, brilliant suggestion
Transcript
The boss: Explain why you charge less of your time to projects than all the other engineers. Dilbert: "I'm trying something new. It's called honesty." The Boss: "Stop doing that." Dilbert: "Okay brilliant suggestion."
Friday October 26,
2007
Tags drunken lemurs, have talent, busy, fixing problems
Transcript
Dilbert: "Why does it seem as if most of the decisions in my workplace are made by drunken lemurs?" Garbageman: "Decisions are made by people who have time, not people who have talent." Dilbert: "Why are talented people so busy?" Garbageman: "They're fixing the problems made by people who have time."
Thursday December 13,
2007
Tags mordac, preventer of information services, network changes, on vacation, 3 weeks, russian submarine, arctic circle, blank screen, coincidence
Transcript
Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."
Monday December 17,
2007
Tags dead horse, interview, offcie, meeting, chair, not answering, few hours, secretary, cancel other meetinsg, take time, business
Transcript
The Boss: "You have good experience as a dead horse, but can you take a beating?" "So, you think you can ignore my questions, do you?" "Cancel all of my meetings, this could take a few more hours."
Sunday November 22,
2009
Tags rude, explaining, annoyed, dancing, angry, uncaring
Transcript
Dilbert says, "My insolence safety zone has expanded." The boss says, "Your what?" Dilbert says, "It's a measure of how rude I can be without fear of consequences." Dilbert says, "You have no budget to give me a raise, so I have no potential gain from acting professionally." Dilbert says, "And it would be inconvinient for you to fire a highly experienced engineer and try to bring a new one up to speed." Dilbert says, "So from now on, when you ask me to do something stupid, which is most of the time..." Dilbert says, "I'll roll my eyes, make a dismissive grunt and do this dance." Phhhht! Dilbert says, "Hey walla-walla walla! Boopita boopita boopita!" Dilbert says, "You finally raised my morale. Good work on that."
Sunday May 21,
2006
Transcript
"The first item of business is..." clickety clickety clickety clickety clickety clickety "What's that sound?" clickety clickety clickety clickety "Airplane." "Scooter." "Locusts." "Why does it stop when you talk?" "It landed." "It parked." "They're napping." "Okay...Anyway, I wanted to thank you all for your attendance." clickety clickety clickety clickety "I know you were concerned that my meetings were using up all of the time you had for doing work." clickety clickety clickety clickety clickety "Productivity is up, but apparently we have locusts."

