Two Week Notice Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

975 Results for Two Week Notice

View 941 - 950 results for two week notice comic strips. Discover the best "Two Week Notice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Adding A Feature

Thank you for voting.
Adding A Feature - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #design, #changes, #planning, #managers

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Add this feature to the software. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Why didn't you ask for this weeks ago when it would have been easy???? Boss: This is nothing. Wait until you see the feature I ask for next week.

Wally's Legacy System Report

Thank you for voting.
Wally's Legacy System Report - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #legacy, #laziness, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Would you like me to tell you what I accomplished this week with our legacy system? Boss: No, because legacy systems are boring and I like to think about new things. Dilbert: I thought we replaced all of our legacy systems. Wally: Keep your thoughts to yourself.

Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks

Thank you for voting.
Ceo Makes More Money In Stocks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 28, 2017's comic on:


Tags #rich people, #money, #stock market, #investments, #out of touch, #obliviousness, #stratification

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Hey, our stock is up two percent. I just made more money than you'll earn in your entire life. Remind me, do I leave you a tip?

Dilbert Is A Lover Not A Fighter

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Is A Lover Not A Fighter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lover, #fighter, #argument

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I'm a lover, not a fighter. Dogbert: When is the last time you did either one? Dilbert: Are you trying to start a fight? Dogbert: It's the better option of the two.

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

Thank you for voting.
Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.

Dogbert The Pr Specialist

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert The Pr Specialist  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2017's comic on:


Tags #public relations, #image, #likeability, #pr, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Dogbert the public relations specialist. Dogbert: The public hates you for all the right reasons. I'll repair your public image by photographing you serving meals in a homeless shelter. CEO: Is the public really that dumb? Dogbert: Yup. I'll have you out of there in two scoops and a click.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2017's comic on:


Tags #lying, #deception, #secret, #choosing, #choices

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Don't tell Dilbert I told you what he plans to do. Alice: What if he asks me how I found out? Man: You should lie. Alice: You have given me two bad choices. If I don't change my plans based on this new information, I'll have big problems. But if I act on it, Dilbert will ask me how I knew, and that will turn me into a liar. Man: Yes, those are your only options. Alice: Unless... Man: There's no "unless." You have only two options. Just two! Alice: Have you ever seen the view from the roof?

Wally Is A Maverick

Thank you for voting.
Wally Is A Maverick - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #health, #standing desks, #standing, #sitting, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I like to think of myself as a maverick. Let the trendy people brag about their standing desks. I haven't stood in a week. Dilbert: I have some bad news about your health risks. Wally: Should I sit down to hear it?

Boss Loses Wife And Money

Thank you for voting.
Boss Loses Wife And Money  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 2017's comic on:


Tags #role model, #aspiration, #gambler, #gambling, #money, #Win, #Lose, #success, #quitter

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: It's not easy being a professional gambler. I lost a million dollars and my wife in one week. But I don't want to be a quitter because I know you see me as a role model. Carol: My role model is your wife. Boss: You like quitters?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2018's comic on:


Tags #my value, #new assignments, #projects, #slow walker, #rivals in management

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Wally, Im promoting you to the position of slow walker. Wally: I am almost curious about what that entails. The Boss: I'll be giving you all the assignments that could make my rivals in management successful. All you have to of is low walk those projects until they die from lack of energy. Wally: Its about time you recognized my value. Ive been pre[aring for this moment all of my life. The Boss: Meet me in my office in ten minutes for you new assignments. You're supposed to be here two hours ago. Wally: Is it too soon to ask for a raise?