Mind Out Of Niche Comic Strips - Page 95
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1000 Results for Mind Out Of Niche
View 941 - 950 results for mind out of niche comic strips. Discover the best "Mind Out Of Niche" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday October 20,
2004
Tags #socially obvious, #social defect., #change topic
Transcript
Dogbert: welcome to dogcarts school for the socially oblivious. Today I'll pair with someone whose social defect will cancel out your own, woman: GAAA!! I keep trying to tap about my l=kids and you keep changing the topic to your self! Because Im fascinating.
Saturday October 23,
2004
Tags #still alive, #deadly plot, #own fault, #afford enetertainment
Transcript
Carol: You're still alive?? How can the sbe?? The Boss: What? Carol: Nothing! Never Mind! I don't know anything about a deadly plot! Its his own fault for not paying me enough to afford entertainment. Alice ; good one.
Monday November 08,
2004
Tags #consultation, #enbrace idea, #frees your mid, #profitable products, #ultra donut, #40 thousand calories, #sharp objects
Transcript
Dogbert consults Dogbert: Once you embrace the idea that your customers deserve to die... ...it frees your mind to invent splendidly profitable products. Its called the ultra - donut: forty thousand calories and filled with sharp objects.
Friday November 19,
2004
Tags #managing vague directions, #punishing people, #genius
Transcript
The Boss: There must be more to managing than giving vague directions and punishing people for not reading my mind. But I like to play within my game. Its a form of genius. Catbert: wake me up when some of this is about me.
Tuesday November 30,
2004
Tags #retail distribution, #walgetco, #unreasonable, #special packageing, #foot powder
Transcript
"Meet with our huge retail distributor, Walgetco, and find out what they want now." "Say yes, no matter how unreasonable they are, because we need them more than they need us." ". . .Special packaging, rfid tags, and grind your bones to make store brand foot powder." "Yes!"
Thursday December 09,
2004
Tags #video compression, #electrical engineer, #only non engineeer, #stating obvious, #condescending
Transcript
Let me explain what video compression is... "Would you stop if I pointed out that everyone in this room except you is an electrical engineer?" "Zeros are round and fat compared to ones..." "I'm begging you..."
Monday December 13,
2004
Tags #death, #down throat fist, #eat, #mouth, #punches, #ram fist grab pants, #stock analysts, #stranger, #threatens coworker, #boss unfazed, #violence, #medical
Transcript
Alice: I odnt know who you are, but I odnt like all of the questions you're asking. Im going to ram my fist down your throat , grab your pants and turn you inside out. Alice: eat, death stranger! The Boss: I see you've met our stock analyst,
Tuesday December 14,
2004
Tags #stock guy, #conflicts of interest, #knocked out, #fist down throat, #violence, #crime
Transcript
Alice: I didn't like the way he was looking at me. The Boss: "This isn't good." "He was the only stock analyst who had a "buy" recommendation on our company." Alice: "I think we're a "hold" now." The Boss: "Where will we find another one with so much conflict of interest??!"
Tuesday December 21,
2004
Tags #stupid, #customers, #pressure builds, #unbearable, #bug head
Transcript
Try to get through this meeting without teling our customers how stupid you think they're being. "I'll try." "But sometimes the pressure builds up in my head and it's unbearable." "Tough it out." "Is he okay? "He's fine. Ignore him."
Wednesday December 29,
2004
Tags #vendor, #reorganization, #staff
Transcript
"How could you tell a vendor about out reorganization before you tell your own staff?" "Scoot." "Come into my office and we can discuss it." "Gaaaa!!! It's a trick. "C'mon phone, ring!!!"