Think Alike Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Think Alike

View 941 - 950 results for think alike comic strips. Discover the best "Think Alike" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Tosses Catbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ceo Tosses Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executive, #ceo, #delegate, #respoinsibilities, #punishment

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: You have been doing dumb things on social media. I am going to toss our evil director of Human Resources in your direction and run away. I love a lot of things about being CEO, but I think I love delegating the most. Boss: Gaaaa!!!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ideas, #problems, #talking, #solution, #obliviousness, #criticism, #honesty

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why didn't you tell me our biggest vendor pulled out of the deal? Dilbert: If I told you my problems, you would suggest solutions. Your solutions generally don't make sense. But you are my boss, so I would be obliged to waste time looking into your suggestions. So if you try to solve my problem, I will have two problems instead of one. Boss: Sometimes my ideas are good! Right? Dilbert: That is a dangerous way to think.

Drones Attack Dilbert

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Drones Attack Dilbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #engineer, #engineers, #drone, #drones, #government contract, #contractor, #retaliation, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

G-Man 1: Oh-oh. The fugitive hacker Dilbert rolled down a hill and found a cell signal. G-Man 2: Relax. What can one engineer with a phone do against a superpower with armed drones? G-Man 1: Who do you think makes our drones???!!!

Whistleblower Laws

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Whistleblower Laws - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #law, #legal issues, #lawyer, #on the lam, #whistleblower, #technicality, #loophole, #legal

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I thought you were on the run from killing government agents. Dilbert: I only killed the bad ones. My lawyer says that's legal now under the whistleblower laws. [Earlier That Day] Dogbert: It was a tad aggressive, but I think you're fine.

Buy One Elbonian

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Buy One Elbonian - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #slave, #slaves, #slavery, #owner, #obliviousness, #nuance, #help, #maid, #maids, #servant, #servants, #semantics

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I hear you're a slave owner now. CEO: That is unfair. I buy a few Elbonians on the Internet and suddenly I'm the "slave owner" guy. Alice: You are literally an owner of slaves. CEO: I prefer to think of them as bad negotiators.

Removing Obstacles

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Removing Obstacles - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hinder, #hinderance, #obstacle, #obstacles, #management, #managers, #insult, #zinger, #zing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: My job is removing obstacles. Asok: When do you leave? Dilbert: I think he was going in a different direction.

Sense Of Awe

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Sense Of Awe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #management, #executives, #leader, #leadership, #overwork, #work ethic, #motivation

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!

Trust Yourself

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Trust Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #inspiration, #logic, #obliviousness, #Advice, #executives, #motivational speaking

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The key to success is trusting yourself. Alice: Even when you're wrong? CEO: I'm starting to think motivation isn't a thing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #unemployment, #replacement, #obsolete, #app, #job, #jobs, #dating, #logic, #business, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: ...and that's what I do for a living. What do you do? Dilbert: I'm building an app that will make your entire industry obsolete. I'm almost done. It looks pretty good. Woman: You're destroying my life! Dilbert: No, I'm only making the app. The app will be destroying your life. Woman: This got awkward, but I'm attracted to smart men, so... would you like to go out this weekend? Dilbert: I don't think that's a good idea. I can't get past your dead-end career.

No Progress On Writing The Novel

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Progress On Writing The Novel - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #writer, #talent, #frustration, #writers block, #self esteem, #self deprecation, #depression, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: How's your novel coming along? Dilbert: I'm off to a slow start. All I did this week is stare at a blank screen and feel bad about my lack of talent. Dogbert: Maybe try writing something. Dilbert: I have to think that would make things worse.