300% More Criticism Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for 300% more criticism comic strips. Discover the best "300% More Criticism" comics from Dilbert.com.

Bossercize

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Bossercize - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise, #personal trainer, #fitness, #bossercise, #criticism, #managers, #health

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Narrator: Dogbert The Personal Trainer. Dogbert: I invented a fitness routine I call Bossercise. It mostly involves strutting around the office and criticizing people. Boss: You incompetent fool! Dogbert: Give me twenty more reps.

Spittle

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Spittle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exercise, #fitness, #fad, #bossercise, #yelling, #criticism, #managers, #health

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Boss: If you need me, I'll be Bossercizing. Carol: What? Boss: It's a combination of walking around and spittle-yelling at underperformers. Carol: Is the spittle part necessary? Boss: Thhtop queth-tioning me!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #productivity, #progress, #project, #deception

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Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.

Signal To Noise Ratio

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Signal To Noise Ratio  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #compliments, #backhanded compliment, #criticism, #engineers

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Boss: What did you think of my presentation? Dilbert: The signal-to-noise ratio was impressively low. Boss: Engineers give weird compliments.

Good Day At Work

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Good Day At Work - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #morale, #engagment, #boredom, #anger, #frustration

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Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: On a good day, the frustration and anger solve for the boredom. Dogbert: What's a bad day like? Dilbert: Same as a good day but with more questions.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #jargon, #misunderstanding, #genius, #obliviousness

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Boss: Your slide deck is okay-ish. But can you make it more aspirational? Dilbert: It's just a software upgrade. Boss: Yes, yes. But I want the audience to feel it. Dilbert: They can feel the handouts. Boss: It's like you're not even trying to understand! Genius is often misunderstood. Dilbert: Do you know what else is misunderstood? Boss: Super-genius?

Feedback From Twitter Guy

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Feedback From Twitter Guy  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #feedback, #criticism, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #troll, #technology

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Dilbert: Do you have any feedback on my idea? Man: Yes. You're weak and stupid, and everyone you love will end up in jail. Dilbert: Do you spend a lot of time on Twitter? Man: Is that a lucky guess or are you spying on me?

Deleting Wrong Pages

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Deleting Wrong Pages - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #edit, #editing, #criticism

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Dilbert: I reviewed your draft and deleted the stuff that was wrong. Boss: These pages are blank. Dilbert: You asked me to be thorough.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #suggestion, #listening, #conclusions, #misunderstanding

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Dilbert: Maybe you could remove a few slides to make your deck shorter. Man: So you're saying I should give up on trying to be persuasive? Dilbert: No, I"m saying it would be more persuasive if it were shorter. Man: So you're saying that having zero slides would be the most persuasive of all? Dilbert: No. I'm saying you have more slides than you need. Man: So you're saying people don't need accurate information as long as they don't have lots of slides? Dilbert:I'm not saying anything like that! Boss: Did Dilbert have any suggestions? Man: Just crazy ones.

Elbonians Call Off The Hit

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Elbonians Call Off The Hit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #hit man, #murder, #torture

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Boss: Elbonia called off its plan to kill you for your culturally offensive sales video. They decided it was more cruel to keep you alive and working here. Dilbert: They're monsters! Boss: Get back in your cubicle.