Asok Comic Strips - Page 95

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964 Results for Asok

View 941 - 950 results for Asok comic strips. Discover the best "Asok" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Not Returning Messages

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Boss Not Returning Messages  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, office workers, business, boss, fire, message, importance, sarcasm, employment, face mask

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asok: our pointy-haired boss isn't returning my messages, do you think he plans to fire me? dilbert: no asok: phew! good. dilbert: you're just totally unimportant to him. asok: yes! that's where i want to be!

No Update Needed

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No Update Needed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags apathy, assignment, face mask, managers & supervisors, project, robot, sarcasm, technology, update

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asok: would you like an update on my project? boss: no, not really. i only give you the projects i don't care about. asok: i just lost my will to live. boss: that is exactly why i plan to replace you with a robot.

Asok Is Overpaid

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Asok Is Overpaid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, technology, time, pay, argue, math, face mask, salary

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asok: i finished my project in half the projected time. boss: that means i'm paying you twice as much as you deserve. asok: i don't think it means that at all. boss: you look dumb arguing with math.

Yes Queen

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Yes Queen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business people, sarcasm, value, appreciation, queen, devalue

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asok: alice, i want you to know that i hear you and i value you. alice: that's terrific maybe you could stop talking to me in that super creepy and condescending way. asok: yes, queen. alice: who broke you?

Wally Answers Texts Later

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Wally Answers Texts Later  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, lazy, working, ignore, text, email, response, data

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asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

Can't Tell When He Is Joking

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Can't Tell When He Is Joking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, joking, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, technology, employment, moon lighting, work, video conference

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dilbert, boss and asok in front of laptop on video conference call. voice from laptop: excuse me. i have to take a call from one of the other employers who also believes i work for them full time from home. boss to dilbert: i can't tell when he's joking. dilbert: that's probably for the best.

Microwaving Fish

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Microwaving Fish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, microwave, fish, working from home, smell, rotting, corpse, cubicle

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boss on phone. boss: asok, you need to stop microwaving fish. i can't work with that smell in the air. asok on phone: i'm working from home. maybe you should check the cubicles for a rotting corpse. boss walking and thinking: maybe i'll let the janitor do that.

Increasing Training Budget

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Increasing Training Budget - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, budget, training, research & development, company, bankrupt

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boss to tina: i'm planning to increase the budget for training by fifty percent next year. tina to dilbert: he didn't say anything about the other budgets. dilbert to wally: he didn't say anything about the budget for research and development. wally to alice: sounds like he's phasing out research and development. alice to asok: he wouldn't phase out research and development unless he knows the company is failing. asok to carol: the company must be going bankrupt. carol to boss: the company is bankrupt. boss thinking: i guess i don't need to increase the training budget.

Everyone Is An Idiot

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Everyone Is An Idiot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, sarcasm, world, idiot, serious

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alice: sometimes, asok, i think everyone in the world is an idiot except for you and me. asok: i can't tell if you are serious. alice: i guess it's down to just me.

Asok Isolates Too Well

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Asok Isolates Too Well - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, socially isolating, society, shock, system, elbow bump, reverse, silliness, murderer

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wally: asok has been socially isolating too well. we need to ease him back into society with out shocking his system. dilbert: how about a reverse elbow bump? can you do that? asok in something similar to a yellow space suit: (yelling) murderer!