Army Of Mole People Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Army Of Mole People

View 941 - 950 results for army of mole people comic strips. Discover the best "Army Of Mole People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2013's comic on:


Tags #computer programmers, #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #code consistency, #legacy systems, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: What's your take on code consistency versus best practices for legacy systems? Boss; I want all of that stuff and I want it now. Dilbert: When people ask what you do for a living, what the $%@* do you say?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #employees, #progress, #policy, #promote from within, #better plans, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our policy is to promote from within. Dilbert: How will you backfill the jobs of the people you promoted? Boss: From within. Dilbert: That's one of your better plans.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 15, 2013's comic on:


Tags #10 thousand hours, #genetic makeup, #laziness, #million hours, #become an expert

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: People used to think it took 10,000 hours of practice to become an expert. But now people think the amount of practice you need depends on your genetic makeup. So you'd be good to go after a million or so hours. Wally: See why I don't bother?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 19, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #conversation, #dumb people, #ignorance (knowledge), #project taking long

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is your project taking longer than expected? Dilbert: It's only taking longer than dumb people expected. Boss: Still, that's a lot of people. Dilbert: What can I say to make this conversation end?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #burglars & robbers, #deception, #discrimination, #defective ones, #ski mask, #reading people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you know who keeps raking my good cables and replacing them with defective ones? Alice: Certainly not me. But I did see an Elbonian wearing a hoodie near your bench. Dilbert: I'm not good at reading people. Alice: I'm counting on that.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #happiness, #tasks, #people, #commute, #paid less, #nothing about job, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I like my job. But I don't like any of the tasks... or any of the people... I don't like the commute... and I'm paid less than I'm worth... and I'm not making the world a better place. Dogbert: Are you sure you like your job? Dilbert: Why do you ask?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2013's comic on:


Tags #illness, #laziness, #sitting disease, #sit all day, #bad health, #safety more eimportant, #drink coffee instead

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I've got a bad case of something the experts call "sitting disease." Studies show that people who sit all day for their jobs have 40% greater chance of dying in the next three years. Company policy says safety is more important than productivity, right? Boss: Um... sort of. Wally: So instead of sitting at my desk working, I plan to walk around and drink coffee. For safety reasons. Boss: GO sit at your desk or you're fired. There's a good chance this problem will resolve itself within three years.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2013's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #negotiating, #flexible, #loser, #good sport, #good loser

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Thanks for being flexible in these negotiations. You're a good sport. And by good sport, I mean good loser. ANd by good loser, I mean loser. Man: Some people call it generous.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 23, 2013's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #obliviousness, #great leader, #hires good people, #no budget, #micromanaging, #half wits, #afford, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2013's comic on:


Tags #complaining, #cruelty, #thinking, #thought diversity, #meeting, #fad, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.