Business Comic Strips - Page 95
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1000 Results for Business
View 941 - 950 results for business comic strips. Discover the best "Business" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 03,
2013
Tags anger, angry, hateful creature, hope, interviews, job interview, managers & supervisors, monster, optimisim, smile, toxic work place, business
Transcript
Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.
Tuesday February 12,
2013
Tags boss, coffee, good managing, horing, ignorance (knowledge), insulting, managers & supervisors, smart people, confontation, business
Transcript
Boss: Today I learned that the secret of good managing is hiring people who are smarter than I am. Maybe I'll try that next time.
Saturday February 16,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, values, don't run with scissors, ask for raises, employee values, business
Transcript
CEO: Experts say we need to empower employees with "values." So I guess we need some values, whatever the heck those are. Boss: I think it's like "Don't run with scissors." CEO: Let's start with that and see if they stop asking for raises.
Sunday February 17,
2013
Tags irony, managers & supervisors, interface, finished, started, micromanagement, bad reputation, optimistic, business
Transcript
Dilbert: I can't wait to see the changes I asked you to make on the interface. Our last meeting was two months ago. You must be finished by now. Coworker: I haven't started yet. I had a few questions. I figured I'd ask you about them the next time we talked. In the meantime I only did work for people who yelled at me every day. Micromanagement has a bad reputation, but I'm not too proud to say I need it. Dilbert: Okay... well, I'm optimistic that you can make those changes for me by next week. Coworker: I probably should have asked my questions.
Wednesday February 20,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, appleby ceo, admit wrongs, other people, humbly admit, business
Transcript
CEO: The CEO of Apple says a leader should admit when he's wrong. That won't work for me because I'm never wrong. The best I can do is admit when other people are wrong. Boss: That sort of misses the point. CEO: Well, I humbly admit you're wrong.
Friday March 01,
2013
Tags business ethics, honesty, shakespeare, born great, achieve greatness, steal, theft, shareholders
Transcript
CEO: Shakespeare said some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em. I wonder which one I am. Catbert: Some steal from shareholders and call it greatness. CEO: Greatness of the fourth kind.
Monday March 04,
2013
Tags cruelty, maintenance plan, managers & supervisors, over budget, take chances, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Should we buy the maintenance plan or just take our chances? What do you prefer? Boss: I prefer to punish you for buying the maintenance plan and going over budget, but I also don't mind firing you for not buying it if we later need it. Which one of us has a better job?
Wednesday March 06,
2013
Tags suspicion, high level of trust, employees, performance, scam, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that companies with a high level of trust in employees also perform the best. Boss: If you ever start performing well, I'll trust you, too. Dilbert: This didn't go the way I hoped. Boss: What kind of scam are you trying to pull?
Tuesday March 19,
2013
Tags didn't read, email, improve communication, long rambling email, someone else, meeting, business
Transcript
The Boss: Did everyone read about how to improve our communication? Dilbert: Was it a long rambling email that stumbled from one barely coherent point to another? The Boss: That one must have been from someone else. Dilbert: Good because I didn't read it.
Thursday April 11,
2013
Tags ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, work ethic, wifi enabled, bus, commute from san fransico, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Google provides a wi-fi enabled bus for its employees to commute from San Francisco. Why can't we be more like that? Boss: You want to be more like a bus? Dilbert: I found the problem.


