Current Job Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

954 Results for Current Job

View 941 - 950 results for current job comic strips. Discover the best "Current Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ted Talks Might Take Your Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Talks Might Take Your Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #social media, #technology, #instagram, #ted talks, #smart, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: the moron i hired keeps watching ted talks and getting smarter. he's only about three ted talks away from taking your job. ceo: there must be a way to slow him down. boss: i'll see if i can interest him in instagram.

The Secret To Managing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Secret To Managing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #manager, #hire, #people, #smart, #steal, #success, #rumor, #job

View Transcript

Transcript

boss to catbert: the secret to being a great manager is hiring people who are smarter than you are. then you have to take credit for their successes so they don't take your job. i also find it helpful to start rumors that they steal.

No Time Before Next Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Time Before Next Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #business, #care, #co-workers, #hate, #job, #lesson, #meeting, #nonesence, #procrastinate, #reality, #report, #stupid, #technical, #technology, #time

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking: that meeting ran long, so now i have ten minutes before the next one. i'm suppose to bring a complete technical report, and i haven't even started it. i hate this stupid job! dilbert still thinking but showing signs of distress: i hate my boss! i hate my stupid co-workers! dilbert yelling: i don't care about anything anymore! dilbert thinking and typing on laptop: i'll just angrily slap together a bunch of nonsense and call it good. grrrrrr!!! in conference room. boss: this is your bet report ever. dilbert yelling: what? dilbert at home with dogbert: today i learned a dangerous lesson about reality.

Great Job For Someone

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Great Job For Someone - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #job, #opening, #private, #office, #opportunity, #background, #rid

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i hear there's a great job opening in operations for someone with your background. big salary, private office. looks like a great opportunity for you. office worker: are you trying to get rid of me? dilbert: not in a way you are suppose to notice.

Social Distancing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Distancing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #eighties, #health, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #practice, #social distancing, #virus, #coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.

Believing Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #Opinion, #expert, #facts, #current events, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.

Emergency Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Emergency Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #boss, #emergency, #excuses, #office workers, #technology, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any emergencies for me to work on? Boss: I do. Dilbert: Perfect! I needed an excuse to avoid working on the boring parts of my job. Boss: I also need your status report by end of day. Dilbert: I would totally do that if not for this darned emergency.

Boss Is White Supremacist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Is White Supremacist   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #complaint, #covid, #denial, #envy, #managers & supervisors, #members, #pandemic, #staff, #system, #white supremacist

View Transcript

Transcript

catbert: members of your staff have complained that you are a white supremacist. boss wearing face mask: but...i'm not. catbert: that's not for you to decide. boss: who gets to decide? catbert: people who want your job. it's not a perfect system.

Who Started The Rumor

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who Started The Rumor  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused, #business, #covid, #fired, #job, #managers & supervisors, #motive, #office workers, #pandemic, #racism, #replacement, #rumor, #unjust, #white supremacist

View Transcript

Transcript

boss, alice and dilbert wearing face masks. boss: i have been unjustly accused of being a white supremacist, and my boss just fired me for it. alice is the obvious choice to take my job, so i assume you will hear something on that soon. i wish i knew who had the motive to start that rumor and get me fired.

Boss Wins In Arbitration

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Wins In Arbitration  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accused, #arbitration, #bribery, #business, #covid, #employment, #fired, #job, #pandemic, #racism, #rotten, #system, #white supremacist, #Win

View Transcript

Transcript

boss and carol wearing face masks. boss: i was falsely accused of being a white supremacist and fired. but i won in arbitration and got my job back! carol: how did you win? boss: bribery. once you realize the whole system is rotten, it's easier.