Dont Breathe Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dont Breathe

View 941 - 950 results for dont breathe comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Breathe" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 2004's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #sow the seeds, #discontent, #massive disloyalty, #riots, #disloyalty, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: "Send the salary spreadsheet to Human Resources." "Don't let anyone else see it. That sort of information could sow the seeds of discontent." "We'd have massive disloyalty, fights, vandalism, maybe even riots."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #outsourcing, #satellite, #pig, #insurance company, #tease pig, #kicks, #risk, #sledgehammer, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: we're outsourcing our satellite launch program to Elbonia. We built the billion dollar satellite here: the Elbonians will put it into orbit. Dilbert I want you yo be our liaison. AAAAAGH!!!! The Boss: Thats our insurance company. They've been jumpy lately. In ELbonia Our plan is to tease a pig until he kicks the satellite into orbit. The risk is that our pig might prefer fisticuff. sledgehammer! abort! abort! Dilbert: It was hallow. The boss: don't mention that to our insurance company.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #don't eat money, #false hope business, #lose weight, #get rich, #semi plausible

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'm going into the false hope business. All I need is a semi plausible message about how to lose weight while getting rich." "Don't eat your money."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 12, 2004's comic on:


Tags #better deal, #coworkers, #hike jacket, #lunch, #miser salad, #paying half, #respected colleague, #steaks

View Transcript

Transcript

WallyL Tina would you like y go to lunch with me? as a coworker or as a date? as a respected colleague. tina: sounds fishy. I know you're up to something: I just don't know what. you're getting the better deal. I'll be looking at your face but you get to look at me. Maybe you could hike up your jacket to occur your face. wally: fair enough, Tina: thi sis not a a=date. I insist on paying fifty percent. wally: Ok. Tina: I'll have the miser salad and water. wally: I'll have three half priced new york steaks.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #five projects, #deliverables, #motivational email, #slacker, #coffee cup

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Is it okay if I take on five new projects and ten deliverables? The Boss: um....okay. My motivational email messages are working, Alice: Can you help... Wally: whoa! don't know how many projects I have?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 25, 2004's comic on:


Tags #wretched slaves, #freinds, #private offcies, #cubilces, #roman general, #dogbertious, #slaves, #treatment, #evil dogbert

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: I'm reading the leadership secrets of the famous Roman general Dogbertious. "Heres a good one: 'Put your wretced slaves in cubicles.'" Heres another: Don't read this book to wretched slaves"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 02, 2004's comic on:


Tags #energy, #million dollar salary, #secreatry, #shareholder meeting, #spank, #stock options, #turned ugly, #beat up, #bandages, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: The shareholder meeting turned ugly when I said we used all the profits to give ourselves stock options. They don't understand that I wouldn't work as hard if all I got was my million dollar case salary. Id barely have the energy ti spans my secretary. The boss: Too much info

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2004's comic on:


Tags #snob, #business snob, #shake hand, #Dilbert, #buck passer, #cheaper, #regular employee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #buck passer, #do -it, #one day tear away shirt

View Transcript

Transcript

The busk passer The boss: I have a do-it of ryou.... Here. Asok: GAAA!!! The one day that I don't wear my tear-away shirt and this happens!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #drive by management, #whats hi sanme, #out run, #answer no questions, #need for clarification, #we're dead

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: It's time for some drive-by-management. Don't forget to do the thing for what hs name or else we're dead. must ...outrun cries for.... clarification.