Falling Out Of Trees Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Falling Out Of Trees

View 941 - 950 results for falling out of trees comic strips. Discover the best "Falling Out Of Trees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hiring, #interview, #strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I'm hiring you because you're huge and scary." The boss says, "Our economic forecast calls for the emergence of warlords in 2010." The boss says, "Have you ever pillaged?" Man says, "No, I just go on fake interviews to scope out targets."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #monster, #rebate, #trap, #frustration, #anger, #yelling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I bought a new phone. It was only $50 after rebate." Dogbert says, "Uh-Oh." Dilbert says, "Let's see what the terms of the rebate?" Foom! Monster says, "I am rebaterus. You must pass five tests before your rebate will be authorized." Monster says, "You must wait 30 days without losing or accidentally discardin the rebate forms, the receipt, and the box." Monster says, "You must figure out which of the several unlabeled codes on the box is the real rebate code." Monster says, "You must write that code into a space desighned for a code half as long." Monster says, "Some numbers look like lettters." Dilbert says, "Just keep my money!!!" Monster says, "Dude, we spent it before you left the store."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #proposition, #marriage, #ridiculous, #confused, #reading, #explanation, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says, "I crunched the numbers, and it makes sense for us to get married." Alice says, "I can maintain my lifestyle if you live in the closet and your only hobby is cleaning my house when I'm gone." Alice says, "If that doesn't work, I can insure the bejeezus out of you and hope for the best." Dilbert says, "The best?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #late, #confused, #yelling, #stupidity, #excuses, #uncooperative, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Sorry I'm late. A truck turned over on the highway. What did I miss?" Man says, "We don't want to rehash the entire meeting." Dilbert says, "How about a quick summary?" Man says, "No, if we leave out any details, you'll think we made the wrong decision." Man says, "It's best for us if we keep you ignorant and angry." Dilbert says, "IF you marginalize me, I will become a nemesis to your project!" Man says, "I'm cool with that." Man says, "Sort of like a mascot?" Dilbert says, "A nemesis is not like a mascot!" Man says, "Maybe you could wear a giant squirrel costume."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #employee, #graduate, #new, #avoiding, #useless, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "I just got my MBA, and I'm here to solve all of your problems." Dilbert says, "Our products are junk and we're completely out of capital." Man says, "Have you tried jargon?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #asking, #work, #assignment, #placating, #saluting, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "Find out how many engineers our competitors have so we can justify having that many." Dilbert says, "Sure, I'll spend a few hours comparing our apples to their oranges." The boss says, "Why does your cooperation sound like insubordination?" Dilbert says, "Aye-aye, captain!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #talking, #confused, #analyzing, #worried, #panic, #injury, #Sports

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says, "I can't understand why?" Dilbert says, "Why did you suddenly stop talking?" Dilbert says, "Oh no?this can't be good." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!! Now you're not making eye contact with me!" Dilbert says, "Layoffs are coming! I must be on the list!" Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is to injure myself and go on disability so he can't legally fire me." Dilbert says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Anyway, as I was saying I can't figure out why so many employees are injured."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stealing, #stupidity, #confronting, #ridiculous, #pirate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "It's a conflict of interest for you to be our CEO and also a pirate who kidnaps our employees." Dogbert says, "The executive compensation committee approved this arrangement. It's all spelled out in my employment agreement." Man says, "So it is." Dogbert says, "Wait here while I call myself and ransom you back to the office."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #talking, #woman, #insane, #crazy, #dating, #weird, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "Hi. My name is?" Woman says, "Whoa! Whoa! Not in person!" Woman says, "I only meet men through online dating sites. That way I can filter out the losers." Dilbert says, "Too crazy too fast." Woman says, "I know. I'm working on that."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #typing, #lazy, #idea, #trick, #deception, #managing, #stupidity

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I programmed my instant-messaging software to send random questions to our boss every hour." Wally says, "They're all yes or no questions so he'll have the illusion of managing me." Computer says, "Should I rotate the domain protocols so they wear out evenly?" The boss says, "Yes"