See And Hear Comic Strips - Page 95
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Character
1000 Results for See And Hear
View 941 - 950 results for see and hear comic strips. Discover the best "See And Hear" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 09,
2018
Boss Loves Criticism
Tags mentor, mentee, protege, Advice, competition, deception
Transcript
Alice The Mentor. Alice: One thing I can tell you about our boss is that he loves constructive criticism. Man: I feel as if your advice is intended to make me fail because you see me as a threat to take your job. Alice: And he loves it when you grab him by the hair and yell, "handles!"
Saturday April 14,
2018
No Path To Success
Tags proof, guilt, exoneration, accusation, negative
Transcript
Dilbert: I emailed you proof that you were wrong when you accused me of deleting Alice's project files. Boss: Now I hate you for always needing to be right. Dilbert: I don't see a path to success here. Boss: Your negativity is like a cancer in the workplace.
Sunday April 22,
2018
Tags memory, demagoguery, social media, Opinion, technology
Transcript
Man: You said you hated this idea last week, but now you say you like it. How do you explain your flip-flopping? Dilbert: I always liked the idea. Nothing changed. Man: Hahaha! Nice try! You're back-pedaling because I busted you. Dilbert: Here is my email trail from the first moment the idea came up. As you can plainly see, I have liked the idea from the start. Any questions? Boss: Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?
Thursday May 24,
2018
Boring And Needy Children
Tags parents, mother, interview, children, annoyance, work-life balance, Family
Transcript
Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.
Thursday May 31,
2018
Employees Who Don't Want Money
Tags motivation, money, optimism, ambition
Transcript
Boss: I don't want employees who are motivated by money. I want true believers who are trying to make the world a better place. Wally: Those people sound crazy. Dilbert: Can you warn us if you see one?
Sunday June 03,
2018
Tags work ethic, productivity, progress, project, deception
Transcript
Asok: I finished my project! Dilbert: Shhhh! Don't let anyone hear you say that. Only one of two things can come of it. Either you'll get more work or you'll get fired for not having enough work. Asok: Then how does anyone ever finish a project around here? Wally: We don't. We manipulate our boss into adding features so our projects are never complete. Asok: Is that hard to do? Dilbert: Not as hard as you might hope. Asok: How do you like the prototype so far? Boss: It needs a red button and some cooling fins.
Monday June 18,
2018
Dogbert Will Start Monday Or Tuesday
Tags negotiation, irony, appointment, deadline, consultant, training, business
Transcript
Narrator: Dogbert The Negotiation Trainer. Boss: We'll see you on Monday for our first lesson. Dogbert: Sure. I'll see you on Monday or Tuesday. Possibly Wednesday. Boss: We paid you to start on Monday. Dogbert: Think how much you'll learn when I don't show up.
Saturday June 30,
2018
No Path To Victory
Thursday July 19,
2018
Death By Ninjas Is Best
Tags ninja, hit man, optimism, frustration, irony
Transcript
Wally: Why aren't you worried about the Elbonian ninjas who are reportedly coming here to kill you in your sleep? Dilbert: That's the best way to die. I won't care about anything after I'm gone, so this is the ideal scenario for me. Elbonian 1: He's ruining everything with his cheery attitude. Elbonian 2: Let's see how he likes another thirty years in a cubicle.
Tuesday July 24,
2018
Everything We Have Done Is Stupid
Tags mistake, criticism, obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: I recently learned that everything we have been doing is stupid. Dilbert: Does that mean we'll be changing what we do? Boss: Let's see how far we can get by demonizing our critics first.