Time Travel Comic Strips - Page 95

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1000 Results for Time Travel

View 941 - 950 results for time travel comic strips. Discover the best "Time Travel" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, travel budget freeze, technical problems, fiancail targets, satisfying customers, sounds bad, said outloud, business

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Dilbert: I need an exception to the travel budget freeze so I can fix an important customer's technical problem. Boss: No, because arbitrary financial targets are more important than satisfying customers. Wait... why does that sound bad when I say it out lout? Dilbert: If it makes you feel better, I wasn't listening.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, friendship, remember, memory, dressed as clown, funerals, told everyone, keep things light, relationships

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Dilbert: Experts say I can improve my likeability by showing that I remember things that people have told me. For example, there was the time you said you always go to funerals dressed as a clown to keep things light. Ted: I never said that! Dilbert: Are you sure? I told everyone you did.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags can't memorize names, handshake, simultaneously, names, introductions

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Randy: Hi. I'm Randy. Dilbert: I can't memorize names and shake hands at the same time. Randy: It's Randy. Dilbert; Don't even bother. Seriously.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, work ethic, on time, under budget, beleievable, working smoothly

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Wally: My project is coming along great. Everything is on time and under budget. Boss: Do you really expect me to believe that everything you're working on is going smoothly? Wally: No, but apparently you believe I work, and I didn't see that coming either.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, mathematics, work ethic, work time, donate, 1% work time, charitable cause, 110% to job, learn math, asking employess, business

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Boss: Our CEO has asked each of us to donate 1% of our work time to a charitable cause. Dilbert: Last week you told us to give 110% to our work. Does this mean we can back off to 109%? Boss: No, you should give 110% to everything you do. Dilbert: Maybe my charitable cause could be helping you learn math.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags correct data, incorrect data, interactions with boss, questioning, totally accurate, desk, computer, office, technology

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Boss: Are you sure the data you gave me is correct? Dilbert: I've been giving you incorrect data for years. This is the first time you've asked. Boss: What? Dilbert: I said the data is totally accurate.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags frustration, vacations, work harder, no vacation, boss, time off, employee

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Dilbert: Can I take my vacation next week? Boss: Fine. Just work twice as hard this week to get everything done before you leave. Dilbert: In that case, I prefer not taking a vacation at all. Boss: It's starting to look as if nothing can make you happy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, time travel, date cyborgs, time travelrs, from future, less flattering guess, relationships

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Woman: I don't date cyborgs. Dilbert: I'm not a cyborg. Yet. Woman: I don't date time travelers from the future. Dilbert; I'm not a time traveler. Woman: My third guess is less flattering. Dilbert: I'm a time traveler.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags choosing, electronic mail, successful habits, eight things, inspirational links, emails, change subject, huge success

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Boss: Did you see my email about the eight things that successful people do? Dilbert: Yes. I did all eight things and now I'm a huge success. Boss: No you're not. Dilbert: I'm not? How's that possible? I did all of the things that successful people do. This only makes sense if the inspirational links you send me every day are a complete waste of time! So which one is it? Am I a huge success or do you email me worthless things? Boss: Maybe we should just change the subject. Dilbert: Is that what successful people do?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags interviews, job interview, spare time, questions, visit orphanges, back rubs, babies, practiced question

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JOB INTERVIEW Boss: So... what do you like to do in your spare time? Interviewee: Um... I visit orphanages and give back rubs to babies. Boss: Maybe you should have practiced for that question. Interviewee: And I bike there because I'm so green.