Big Business Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Big Business

View 941 - 950 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, efficiency experts, gloves, foot in glove

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I'll teach you the best practices of companies that have nothing in common with yours. Those practices will fit your company like a foot in a glove. Boss: Close enough. Dogbert Consults

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business ethics, executives, managers & supervisors, kill or cannibalize, business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Experts say we need to be willing to kill or cannibalize our best businesses. Boss: I can do that. I've been killing our best businesses for years. CEO: That's all the leadership I have for today. Boss: That'll last me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), employees, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: You need to work less. Wally: Your productivity is making us look bad. Tina: If you keep being productive, we will hunt you down. Wally: If it's easy. Alice: About the peer review concept... I don't think you thought it through.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flattery, company, boss, flatter, infinite people, typewriter, butter up, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Our company needs more people like you. Not just more. We need infinite people just like you. Boss: Where is this going? Wally: And if each of you hat a typewriter, wow!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, laziness, managers & supervisors, famous leaders, copy, 16 hrs a day, reading about industry, leaders eat cake, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags internet & world wide web, managers & supervisors, work ethic, facebook, work, home, unpaid work, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're not allowed to use Facebook at work. Alice: Fine. I'll use it at home tonight instead of doing the three hours of unpaid work I was planning to do. Boss: I"m calling that a win.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complaining, cruelty, thinking, thought diversity, meeting, fad, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I'm looking for thought diversity in my hiring. That's a thing now. Alice: Really? That's a dumb thing. All you end up with is a bunch of people who can't agree. How do you like thought diversity now? Dilbert: That fad didn't last long.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, laziness, shortcuts, lazy, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Experts say lazy employees are the best because they know how to find shortcuts. Boss: So you found a lot of shortcuts? Wally: Me/ No. I'm not lazy. I'm useless. Boss: Then why did you bring it up? Wally: Why wouldn't I? I"m not lazy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags discussion, meetings, drink coffee, decisons, wise

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Let's drink coffee together while I say wise things about business. Wally: Nothing would make us happier. Dilbert: Whataya got? Boss: The only reason to have meetings is to make decisions. Wally: That sounded very wise. Dilbert: Totally. Boss: I know. I"m kind of proud of that one. Wally: So what happens when you get in a meeting and realize you don't have all of the information you need to make a decision? Boss: This works better if you two don't talk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, great leader, hires good people, no budget, micromanaging, half wits, afford, business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.