Boss Doubts Dilbert Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for boss doubts dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Doubts Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia

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Seventeen Hour Flight To Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 21, 2016's comic on:


Tags #fair, #comfort, #flying, #money, #budget, #cost, #selfish

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Dilbert: The flight to Elbonia is seventeen hours. Can I fly business class? Boss: No, because your pain will be temporary, but I won't get my bonus if I go over budget. Try being a team player for once. Dilbert: I didn't know Satan had a team.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #bureaucracy, #paperwork, #form, #request, #convoluted

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Dilbert: I need a capital allocation form. Man: Do you have a form to request that form? Dilbert; I need a form to get a form? Man: That's how we keep track of the forms. Dilbert: Okay, give me a form to request a form. Man: Those are online. Dilbert: Where online? Man: I don't know. I only do paper forms. Dilbert: Who can I ask? Man: Don't drag me into this. Dilbert: I demand to talk to your boss. Man: I hope you brought a boss request form.

Offending The Janitor

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Offending The Janitor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #politically correct, #offensive, #language, #misunderstanding

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Boss: Ted, I have to fire you because you said something that offended the janitor. Ted: What did I say?! Boss: I don't know. The janitor has a thick accent and he's terrible at charades. Elbonian 1: Did you take care of the buy who keeps putting banana peels in the recycling? Elbonian 2: He won't do it again.

Wally Comes In Early

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Wally Comes In Early - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #schedule, #hours, #work, #trick, #deception, #leaving early

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Wally: Can I come in an hour early tomorrow and leave early? Boss: Yeah, okay. Wally: How about five hours early? Boss: Um... sure. Wally: Let's say eight hours early and you won't even see me.

Followship Training

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Followship Training - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 17, 2016's comic on:


Tags #leadership, #following, #lazy, #work ethic, #motivation

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Boss: I'm too busy to take a leaders hip class, so I'm sending all of you to a followship class. Dilbert: Is that so we can learn how to follow someone who never learned to lead? Boss: That sounds like a good question for your followship teacher.

Employee Weight Loss Contest

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Employee Weight Loss Contest - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #obesity, #health, #weight loss, #weight, #dieting, #cheating, #competition, #medical

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CEO: Next month is employee health awareness month, so we decided to have a weight-loss competition. We'll start on the first of the month, and the winner gets a week of paid vacation. Wally: When he thinks back on this, he'll realize he shouldn't have given us three weeks to bulk up before the first weigh-in.

Humidity Is Wrecking Hair

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Humidity Is Wrecking Hair - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 2016's comic on:


Tags #hair, #humid, #bad hair day

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Alice: The humidity is wrecking my hair. Please don't stare. Dilbert: I can't promise that. Alice: You're staring! Dilbert: I'm afraid to turn my back on it.

Wally's Work Life Balance

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Wally's Work Life Balance - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2016's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #work ethic, #excuse

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Wally: I can't do your urgent task because I'm on deadline for my boss. I can't meet your deadline because I have an urgent task from a co-worker. I finally figured out the whole "work-life balance" thing.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 13, 2016's comic on:


Tags #app, #developer, #workload, #ideas, #obliviousness, #unrealistic, #goals

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Tina: I have a great idea for an app. And I choose you to be on my start-up team. I'll be the idea person and you do all of the technology. Dilbert: So... I would be doing 100 percent of the work? Tina: I already did the hard part of coming up with an idea. Your part is just typing. So stop complaining and type me an app. Dilbert: It isn't that easy. Tina: Can you recommend someone less lazy?

Bought His Last Company

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Bought His Last Company - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 12, 2016's comic on:


Tags #comparison, #comparing, #merger, #acquisition, #liquidation, #layoff, #redundancy, #big business, #competition, #darwin

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Man: That's now how we did it at my prior company. Boss: We bought your old company, fired all of the employees, and discontinued all of its products. Man: How is that possible? Boss: It's called "survival of the fittest." It's just science.