Company Phone Comic Strips - Page 95
1000 Results for Company Phone
View 941 - 950 results for company phone comic strips. Discover the best "Company Phone" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share November 16, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and a man sit at a table. Dilbert says, "So tell me . . . Brian . . . Why do you want to work for this company?" The man replies, "Well, to be honest, I don't. I'm using this as a practice interview." Dilbert says, "I guess we're done here." Brian looks at his watch and says, "Hello-o-o!!! It's lunch time and I don't see sandwiches."
Share November 11, 1996's comic on:
Catbert sits at his desk and says, "There are two ways to get an extra engineer for your project." Catbert continues, "You can transfer some unqualified loser from within the company . . ." Dilbert asks, "Or?" Catbert says, "Not so fast. I like to savor the moment before I crush your misplaced optimism."
Share November 05, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Dogbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "I hired the Dogbert Consulting Company to add credibility to my decisions." Dogbert wears a sorcerer's hat. Dogbert says, "As my analysis shows, it's much better to give your money to me than to waste it on future downsizees such as yourselves." Wally asks, "What analysis? This is a page ripped out of the magazine in our lobby." Dogbert replies, "Perhaps you should upgrade to my deluxe service."
Share November 04, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert stands on a chair across from the Boss's desk. Dogbert wears a sorcerer's hat. He says, "The Dogbert Consulting Company will add credibility to your own selfish and idiotic opinions." Dogbert continues, "For example, your current budget should be . . . Um . . ." The Boss says, "Doubled." Dogbert says, "Doubled. It should be doubled." The Boss says, "Hey, what's that tingle I feel all over my body?!!" Dogbert replies, "Credibility. If you want another hit, it'll cost you."
Share October 15, 1996's comic on:
Dogbert and Alice sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "If you plan to have a booth at the trade show, you need the 'Dogbert Trade-Show Consulting Company' to design it." Dogbert continues, "I recommend the deluxe booth. It's guaranteed to generate the most revenue." Alice asks, "How would the deluxe booth generate more revenue for my company?" Dogbert says, "Oh, suddenly this is about YOUR company?"
Share October 13, 1996's comic on:
Tags #meets expectations, #review, #two percent raise, #eighty hour week, #three patents, #make millions, #donated bone marrow, #attendece problem, #cheated on money, #alice, #take advantage, #cheap, #scammed
The Boss sits at his desk and says, "Alice, your performance this year is 'meets expectations.' You get a two percent raise." Alice looks shocked and says, "MEETS EXPECTATIONS?! I worked eighty hours every week!" The Boss replies, "Yeah . . . Well, I expected that." Alice yells, "I earned three patents this year! The company will make millions!!" The Boss says, "Really? Wow. I mean . . . I expected that too." Alice clenches her teeth and shouts, "I donated bone marrow to our biggest customer!!! Twice!!!" The Boss replies, "I noted that under 'attendance problem.'" Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at a table eating lunch. Alice leans on the table and covers her face. Dilbert tells her, "I told you the bone marrow thing would haunt you." Wally says, "I'm starting to think the time I worked through lunch was for nothing."
Share October 11, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector and points at a skull and crossbones diagram. Dilbert says, "The status of our strategic alliance is 'doomed.'" Dilbert continues while the Boss listens, "Our ponderous and inefficient management style caused their best people to quit and create a competing company." The Boss says, "We must find a way to destroy that new company." Dilbert replies, "I'll see if they're interested in a strategic alliance."
Share October 10, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert stands in front of an overhead projector discussing "Strategic Alliance Issues." Dilbert says, "Issue one: Our two companies have very different corporate cultures." A man with a goatee sits at the conference table working on a laptop. A woman with spiked hair sits next to him. The man says, "While you were droning I slammed out some beta code and put it on the Internet for comments." Dilbert says, "My company prefers to have that kind of decision made by uninformed executives. We call it 'empowerment.'" The man replies, "I'll mention that in the press release."
Share October 09, 1996's comic on:
A man with a goatee and a woman with spiked hair who's wearing a tube top enter a room with Dilbert. The man says, "Our strategic alliance is working well. My company provides amazing technical skill and your company . . ." The man continues, ". . . Has a seemingly endless supply of three-ring binders." They sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated." The woman asks, "Is it true that if your name is written in a binder you lose your soul?"
Share October 08, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert and a man with a goatee sit at a conference table. Dilbert holds a thick binder and says, "These are the procedures my company uses to approve projects." Dilbert says, "I guess a small company such as yours is used to flying by the seat of the pants." The man replies, "Not necessarily." Dilbert asks, "You mean you're flexible?" The man shows Dilbert his bare foot and leg and replies, "I mean I'm not wearing pants."