Delivery Man Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for delivery man comic strips. Discover the best "Delivery Man" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #instructor, #Dilbert, #alice, #ted, #seminar, #managers, #Wally

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The instructor asks, "Who will be first to brave the hot coals?" Dilbert, Alice and Wally stand together. The man pulls Wally out of the crowd and says, "You will teach the others by example." The instructor says as there is an explosion in the background, "Now, what you learn from Wally's example is: don't use alcohol-based after-shave."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #garbageman, #designs

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Dilbert says to the garbage man, "I wish you'd realize that you're a garbage man, not an engineer. I don't need your suggestions on my designs." Dilbert looks over the garbage man's shoulder and says, "What are you writing? Oh yeah, as if I care." The garbage man hands Dilbert the corrections and says, "If you need help understanding that, the paper boy will be by soon. I've been working with him."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #garbageman, #Dilbert, #spelling, #grammar, #writing, #technologists

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The garbage man looks in Dilbert's trash can and says, "Hoo-boy! I hope you're not going to show this to anybody." The garbage man reads a document and says, "Oh, it's obviously a first draft. By now you've run it though the spelling checker." Dilbert says, "Technologists are concerned with IDEAS, not spelling." The garbage man says, "Well, since you brought it up . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #salary, #employee, #office

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An employee stands in front of Dogbert's desk and says, ". . . Our pay is too low, and there's no clear leadership. And we want parking spaces." Dogbert presses a level and the man falls through a trap door in the floor. There is a flushing noise. Dogbert thinks, "All things considered, I think I enjoy them more when they're disgruntled."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #executive man, #business meeting, #assistants

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An executive says, "The motion is approved. Dogbert is our new company president because he has the best hair." Dogbert says to a man who follows him taking notes, ". . . Bulldoze the employee cafeteria and put in my helicopter pad . . . And I need a few office improvements . . ." Dogbert points to the floor in front of his desk and says to the assistant, "We need a trap door here, but it won't be funny unless you can give me some 'flushing' sounds."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business meeting, #Promotion, #Dogbert, #executive man, #management

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Dogbert and several executives sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "Thank you all for coming to this emergency board meeting." Dogbert continues, "As you know, all promotions to senior management are based on hair. I think we all agree this is the best system." Dogbert lifts the president's toupee with a pointer and continues, "But have you noticed that I have a rich lustrous coat, whereas our current president gets a little outside help?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #man, #parking lot, #car

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Dilbert and Dogbert stand in a parking lot. A man approaches their car and says, "Hey! Dilbert! Is that your nerdmobile?" The man laughs. Dilbert thinks, "It's my old high school nemesis, Chuck." Chuck says, "Maybe you'd like to race me in my Corvette." He laughs. Dilbert points to his car and says, "Actually, Chuck, if you had taken a science class you'd know this a 'Seebeck effect' power plant capable of 600 miles per hour." Dilbert continues, "Any idiot knows you can get massive power simply by using the sun to heat the junction of two dissimilar wires joined at both ends." Dilbert continues, "Apparently I'm faster AND smarter than you. And these tax forms show that I also earn more than you." Dogbert holds up the forms. Chuck says, "Here's a picture of my new girlfriend. She teaches aerobics." Dilbert says, "He's winning. Help me out here, Dogbert." Dogbert waves his paw and says, "Step aside." Dogbert tells Chuck, "I notice that your girlfriend has unusually large hands and a very pronounced Adam's apple." Chuck asks, "So?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #office, #man, #assertive

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Dogbert walks down the hall thinking, "Ha! My technique of being loud is working. I got a job and a raise in one day. Now I need an office." Dogbert shouts at a man, "Hey! I want your office now!!" Dogbert stands on the desk watching the man pack his things. Dogbert yells, "Wait . . . I might be able to use the frame for something!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #ted, #cubicle

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A man says to Dilbert and Wally, "Next week I'll be at my new job, reaping huge rewards." Wally replies, "We're so happy for you." The man says, "But I'll still have a little cubicle like yours." The man continues, "The only difference being that I'll keep a pony there. That way it's close to my office."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ted, #Dilbert, #job offer, #office

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Dilbert sits at his desk. A man asks, "Have I told you recently that I have a lucrative job offer from our competitor?" Dilbert replies, "Yes." The man continues, "The pay is obscene, they wear casual clothes at work, and Wednesday through Friday is free beer and pizza." The man continues, "As the new guy I get to date the masseuse until the company matches me with an attractive co-worker." Dilbert covers his eyes and sobs.