Disguised Alice Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for disguised alice comic strips. Discover the best "Disguised Alice" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employee appreciation day

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The Boss: We're going to have an employee appreciation day on the 8th! "That's a Sunday." Alice: That's the best day for a potluck lunch. The Boss: You'll have all day Saturday to make a dish to share!" "I'll need a volunteer to organize everything. Let's see...Which one of you is the woman?" "Bring jackets. It's supposed to be about 45 degrees in the park that day." "I won't be able to attend because I do personal stuff on weekends." "Take pictures!" I hope no one else brought a pine cone appetizer."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new guy, #project staus report, #random pharse, #generatormmeail, #listens, #when he's talking

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"Alice, can you show the new guy how to do a project status report?" "He doesn't read them, so we all use a random phrase generator. I'll e-mail it to you." "You said that in front of him." "He only listens when he's talking."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cable, #doesn't attach, #create demand, #young people dancing, #budget cuts

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Our new product is a cable that doesn't attach to anything. "We hope to create demand via a series of commercials showing young people dancing." "And then we'll all go straight to hell." "He didn't take the last round of budget cuts well."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #downsizing, #human way, #marketing ones, #giant dung beetle, #ball, #poor performers

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Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #desperate venture capitalist, #vjay, #business plan, #napkin, #lunch, #table, #break room, #money, #throws money

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Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "Does anyone need a napkin to write on?" "What are you thinking now? Could it be a business plan?" "TAKE MY MONEY!!! TAKE IT!!!" "He's nice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #vp of enguneering, #saving money, #databases, #slices idea, #errors, #asok

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V.P. of Engineering "Then I had the idea of saving money by combining our four databases." "Excuse me. That was Alice's idea. You said it was impossible, so she did it on her own time." "Carry on. I'll jump in if I notice any more errors."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ran six miles, #topper, #hopped to work, #broken leg, #better, #more better

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Topper "I ran six miles even though I was sore." "That's nothing." "I broke my leg and hopped all the way to work this morning." "You hopped 40 miles on your one good leg?" "On the broken one."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sourpuss, #screaming cat, #noises, #meeting, #crying, #sounds, #business

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Does anyone have an issue with the plan as I've outlined it? KAH! KAH! KAH! "I'm with Sourpuss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hammerhead bob, #expert, #many topics, #not welcome, #converstaion, #irritable, #dadelion root, #cramp root

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Hammerhead Bob "Hey, what are you talking about? I'm an expert on many topics." "Try to get this through your thick head: You are not welcome in our conversation." "Irritable, eh? Try cramp bark and dandelion root."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hammerhead bob, #start butting into private lives, #sense annoyance

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"Great. The only seat is next to Hammerhead Bob." "I'm learning ESP so I can start butting into people's private thoughts." "I sense annoyance, yet there seems to be no cause."