Dont Breathe Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dont Breathe

View 941 - 950 results for dont breathe comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Breathe" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

That new employee is getting special treatment just because she's hot. It's unfair. "She's hot? Where is her cubicle? Maybe I should bring her some coffee." "Do you mind brewing an extra pot? I don't know how big her mug is."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 23, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Please don't tell Ted I said bad things about his project." "Okay." "Hey Ted, someone told me that your project is floundering!!!" gurk! "Act cool."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"We don't have enough chairs." "Why do I always have to get the extra chair?" "I need to borrow your guest chair." "No way." punch punch punch punch punch punch punch "GAAAA!!!" "If you aren't willing to punch a coworker for a chair, you don't belong in this business."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"You exceeded all of your goals this year." "But I can't give you much of a raise because you didn't have the appearance of success." "Um...what?" "I have to justify to management all large raises, and they don't know that you exist." "Who do they think accomplished all of my goals?" "I'll make it up to you next year." push "Who was that?" "Some vendor."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 30, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm a technology left-behind." "I don't know how to use a computer, cell phone, PDA, digital camera, iPod or TiVo." "I'd recommend a life of crime but you aren't qualified."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"There's one thing you should know..." "Whoa, whoa, Asok!" "What?" "Never tell him anything when he's distracted." "He won't remember what you say. Later he'll blame you for not telling him." "Also avoid telling him anything when he's angry, late, or busy." "And don't tell him anything when he's tense or hungry." "That doesn't leave much." "I usually wait for a yawn." Yawn! "My project is behind schedule because the vendor lied!!!" "The next one is all yours."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 16, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Drop the cell phone. I darn you to heck. blah blah blah "Seriously. Don't make me use the spoon." blah blah blah "I'm sorry it had to come to this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 15, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"By now, you've noticed that your jobs are hideous nightmares of frustration and underpayment." "But what you don't know is that every other company is exactly the same." "Reduce employee turnover...Check."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"When do I need to give the specs to the programmers?" "They don't need them." "Why? Is it because they already know what to do?" "Yes, exactly. They know how to do that part." "Well, now I have a difficult choice." "I could call the programmers, prove you wrong, and suffer the consequences in a thousand subtle ways..." "Or I could do nothing and wait to get hosed for not providing the specs on time." "Geez. You complain when I don't give you choices too."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

The Mildly Retarded Consultant "You'll have to drink from the firehose unless..." "...You drill down and check the dashboard to see why the bloatware bubbled up from the bake-off." "Does that mean anything?" "Don't ping my cheese with your bandwidth."