How Eich Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for how eich comic strips. Discover the best "How Eich" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 28, 2004's comic on:


Tags #liosuction, #disappeared, #head one, #eating donuts, #being fed donuts

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Dilbert: "How did the liposuction go?" The boss: "Good." "People say I look younger. And thanks to my self-discipline, I'll keep off the weight." "One more."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no straight answer, #asap, #when, #done, #soon, #slack, #how much slack?, #questions

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Dilbert: do you have market demand numbers? Ted: Im in the middle of something. can I get back yo you later? Dilbert: How much later? Ted: when do you need it? Dilbert: As soon as possible. Ted: I'll do it as soon as Im done. Dilbert: when will that be? Ted: as soon as possible. Dilbert: when will it be possible? Ted: cut name some slack. Dilbert: how much slack do you need?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2004's comic on:


Tags #five projects, #deliverables, #motivational email, #slacker, #coffee cup

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Wally: Is it okay if I take on five new projects and ten deliverables? The Boss: um....okay. My motivational email messages are working, Alice: Can you help... Wally: whoa! don't know how many projects I have?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #daughter sneezed, #work from home, #answer boss phone, #phone messages aren't real, #bitung humor

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Carol: "My daughter sneezed so the school is sending her home." "I'll work from home for the rest of the day." The Boss: "How will you answer my phone?" Carol: "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but none of your phone messages are real."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #fax to voice line, #prank, #on purpose, #pain, #bother, #harass, #anger, #mad

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Hello? This is Alice. BEEEP BEEEP You are faxing to my voice line gain you #!!%* Dilbert: How often do you fax to her voice line? wally: It depends if she's been bad.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2004's comic on:


Tags #don't eat money, #false hope business, #lose weight, #get rich, #semi plausible

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Dogbert: I'm going into the false hope business. All I need is a semi plausible message about how to lose weight while getting rich." "Don't eat your money."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #no annual raises, #ouift, #cafeteria napkins, #colonize mars, #distractions, #guide conversation away

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources The Boss: How do I tell people that there won't be any annual raises?" CAtbert: If someone tries to raise the topic, guide the conversation away." "...And thats why my outfit is made of cafeteria napkins." "Do you think we'll ever colonize Mars?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2004's comic on:


Tags #low pay, #lowest paid, #blame, #no one left, #aliens, #illegal

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Tina: "I just saw a list of everyone's salary." "I thought the glass ceiling was holding me down, but you have the highest pay here." "There's no one left to blame for my low pay except... Ooh, wait... How about illegal aliens?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 07, 2004's comic on:


Tags #100 companies, #additional money, #happy to work, #fortune magazine

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The Boss: "Our corporate goal is to become one of Fortune magazine's top 100 companies to work for!" The boss: "We hope to do it without giving you any additional money, benefits or freedom." Wally: "Then how could you possibly motivate us to say we're happy to work … uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 01, 2004's comic on:


Tags #lost id badge, #security offcie, #sneak, #angel with bacon, #looks around

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Dilbert: I lost my ID besiege. Security: Report to the security office and get a new one. Hold it where do you think you're going? Dilbert: To the security office? Security: No one is allowed past this desk with out an ID badge. Dilbert: Okay....how do I go to the security office if I can't go to the security office? Security: Good question. I guess you'll have to steal past me. Dilbert: Look over there! Its an angel and she's giving away free bacon! Security: well well It seems Ive found a worthy adversary.