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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "When I was a kid I threw spitballs at girls to show I liked them." Dilbert continues, "Now I just grovel and beg for dates." Dilbert concludes, "Frankly, the old way was more satisfying."
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "I've got to make the engineering newsletter more interesting." Dilbert thinks, "It needs pathos and human drama." Dilbert reads from a printout, "How to cope with the loss of loved data . . ." Dogbert says, "Wait . . . I better get some tissues."
The Grim Reaper points at Dogbert and says, "Dogbert, I have come for you." Dogbert yells, "Yow!" Dogbert pleads, "Wait wait! Don't I get to challenge you to some contest to play for my life!!?" The Grim Reaper says, "Okay . . . I throw this Frisbee - you try to catch it in your mouth." Dogbert asks, "Did you have anything more degrading?"
Dilbert, Dogbert and an old woman sit on a park bench. The old woman says, "Men don't whistle at me anymore." The woman continues, "I credit the women's movement for making men more sensitive to how whistling degrades women." As Dilbert gets up to leave, Dogbert asks the woman, "What's the climate like on your planet?"
Dilbert and Dogbert walk outdoors. Dilbert says, "This is so nice . . . Just a man and his mutt out for a walk." Dogbert says, "Mutt?!" Dogbert says, "I think of it more as a 'canine and a clod' or a 'dog and a dummy' . . . Maybe a 'pooch and a pinhead' or a 'bowser and a blockhead.'" Dilbert says, "I think that's enough." Dogbert adds, "A 'hound and a hiney.'"
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "I programmed the computer to predict what people will be like in 200 years." Dogbert asks, "What assumptions are you making?" Dilbert replies, "It's based on trends in today's youth." Dilbert explains, "For example, we know that science skills are declining, more kids are overweight, and selfishness is rising." In the year 2190, three huge people float in midair. One person says, "I heard that Bobby exploded." Another replies, "I wonder why that keeps happening." The third person says, "Who cares? More for us."
Dilbert sits at a table in a restaurant with a woman who has a huge head. Dilbert asks, "So, uh . . . How do you like working at the library reference desk?" The woman replies, "It's pretty good, now that I've memorized all the books. No more flipping through pages . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm feeling a bit inadequate at the moment." The woman replies, "Don't worry. I'll just think about other things while you're talking."
Dogbert lies on his pillow. Dilbert says, "Dogbert . . . Napping again?" Dilbert says, "Don't you know that many famous people functioned with very little sleep . . .? There were Jackie Gleason, Ben Franklin, Napoleon . . ." Dogbert says, "I like to think I'm more attractive than any of those guys."
Dogbert: Santa! Santa: Merry Christmas, Dogbert! I'm glad you're up... I'm having a little trouble with your christmas list. In your letter you say you want to be named supreme ruler of earth. Dogbert: Is that a problem? Santa: Frankly, my workshop is more oriented toward small consumer goods... Dogbert: Can I have an elf? Dilbert: Has, G.I. Joe taken up ballet, or is this something I don't want to know about?
Dilbert, whose arm is in a sling, says to Dogbert, "I got hit by a rented car." Dogbert asks, "Hertz?" Dilbert replies, "Not any more, but thanks for asking." Dogbert says as he walks away, "That's about all the sympathy I can muster for one day."