Move Office Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for move office comic strips. Discover the best "Move Office" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #move slowly, #online relationships, #yipe, #madam cruella

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "You have to move slowly with these online relationships. I'll ask her what she likes to do for fun." Dilbert and Dogbert look shocked. Dilbert says, "YIPE!" Dilbert says, "You'd think that a woman named Madame Cruella would compensate by being extra nice."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing dept., #cubicle walls, #sneak down, #experimnet, #forgets

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Alice asks Dilbert, "What are you doing in the marketing department?" Dilbert pulls a cubicle wall and replies, "It's an experiment." Dilbert explains, "I sneak down here once a week and move this guy's cubicle wall in by a quarter-inch." A man with a briefcase tries to squeeze into a tiny cubicle. Alice asks, "What's this experiment going to prove?" Dilbert replies, "I forget. It's been a long time."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Catbert, #evil hr director, #all employees, #smell of popcron, #unprofessional, #banning popcorn, #tobacco, #perfum, #Wally

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Catbert stands on his desk chair and types, "To: All Employees. The smell of popcorn in the office is unprofessional . . ." Wally and Alice read the e-mail message and Alice says, "He's banning popcorn! First it was tobacco, then perfume, now this . . . There's only one pollutant left." Catbert types, ". . . This brings me to the unpleasant subject of Wally . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complaining, #document, #office supplies, #out of ink, #person who asked, #requirement, #supply cabinet

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Dilbert: Carolf, I need yo document your procedure for ordering office supplies. Its and ISO 9000 requirement. Carol: If someone asks for something, I check first the supply cabinet first. Then I say, "Theres one left You can't have it because then we'd be all out" Carol: Then I spend the rest of the day complaining about the person who asked. Dilbert: Uh - Oh....Im out of ink.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #year 2000 problkems, #computer problems, #head spun, #dint explode, #left money, #table

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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Here's my invoice for fixing your 'Year 2000' computer problems." The Boss screams so loud that Dogbert is thrown from the office. Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, ". . . So his head spun, but it DIDN'T explode?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. I guess I left some money on the table."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pager vibrate, #not wearing, #classic case, #phantom pager, #technology workers, #relocate it

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Dilbert lies on a couch in a therapist's office. Dilbert says, "On weekends I'll feel my pager vibrate . . . But when I go to check it, I realize I'm not wearing it." The psychologist replies, "It's a classic case of phantom-pager syndrome. It's common among technology workers." The psychiatrist adds, "There's no treatment for it." Dilbert says, "I don't want to treat it. I want to relocate it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #alice, #email messages, #melrose place, #monkey love, #strategic edits, #total access, #network administrator

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair and thinks, "I have total access to every employee's e-mail messages." Dogbert thinks, "With a few strategic edits I will transform the office into 'Melrose Place.'" Wally says to Alice, "Yes, Alice . . . I WILL be your 'monkey of love.'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #making personal calls, #stealing, #fist of death, #eighty cents, #talk to family, #bill for overtime, #being competetive, #office supplies

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Alice sits at her desk. The Boss enters and says, "According to this phone bill, you've been making personal calls." The Boss continues, "That's like stealing from the company, Alice." Alice clenches her teeth, holds her fist and thinks, "Must . . . Control . . . Fist . . . Of . . . Death . . ." Alice looks at the telephone bill and says, "I only spent eighty cents to tell my family I was working late." Alice says, "Here's a dollar. The extra twenty cents is for the personal thought that I'm about to have on company time." Alice closes her eyes and imagines the Boss tied up with rope. She pictures handing him a stick of dynamite. Alice says, "And here's my bill for $40,000 in unpaid overtime that the company stole from me." The Boss replies, "That's not stealing; that's being competitive." Alice says, "I think I'll be competitive with a few bushels of office supplies later today."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new objectoves, #achievable, #objectives approved, #measurable

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Alice hands the Boss a document and says, "Here's a draft of my new objectives. I tried to make them achievable." The Boss reads, "No matter how stupid my co-workers are, I will not punch a hole in anyone's torso, rip out a vital organ and keep it in my cubicle as a warning to others." Outside the Boss's office, Wally says to Dilbert, "I hope she gets those objectives approved." Inside the office, Alice yells, "Yes! It's measurable!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #downsize wally, #downsized, #economic neccessity, #exercise didn't work, #salary, #stressful job, #team builkding, #value of stock options, #afford movies, #money

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The Boss sits at his desk and says, "Dilbert, I've decided to downsize you." The Boss continues, "It's nothing personal, just an economic necessity." Dilbert tugs nervously at his necktie. The Boss says, "I calculated how much your salary was dragging down the value of my stock options." The Boss continues, "Without you, I can afford to go to the movies one additional time per year." The Boss continues, "And let's face it: recreation is important when one has a stressful job." Dilbert waves his arms and says sarcastically, "Hey, why don't you downsize Wally instead. You'll save enough in office supplies to buy popcorn too. Sheesh!" The Boss thinks, "Mmm . . ." Wally asks Dilbert, "How'd it go?" Dilbert says, "You know that team-building exercise we did last week? It didn't take."