Tell Each Employee Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for tell each employee comic strips. Discover the best "Tell Each Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company concierge, #alibi, #lye, #a barrel, #police, #break you, #legal

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An employee says to Ratbert the Concierge, "I need an alibi." The employee continues, "The police will try to beat the truth out of you, but don't let them break you!" The employee goes on, "I also need lye...and a barrel...better yet, make that two barrels."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #company concierge, #diet an dexercise, #doctor appointment, #sleeping at desk, #want pills

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The Boss says to Ratbert the Concierge, "I don't have time for my doctor appointment." The Boss continues, "Go in my place and tell him you're having trouble sleeping at your desk." The Boss says, "And don't let him sweet-talk you about diet and exercise. I want pills.!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #any errand, #date women, #film, #movies, #ratbert, #thinks wally is hot, #Entertainment

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Ratbert the Concierge Wally: Id like a date with a woman who thinks Im hot. Remember, you promised you would do any errand for employees. Tell me again how hot I am.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #loofah, #new company concierge, #personal, #any errand

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The Boss says to his staff, "Ratbert is our new company concierge." Ratbert says, "I will perform any errand, no matter how personal or degrading it is." One employee says to Ratbert, "I need a loofah." Ratbert replies, "Lather me up!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cut budget, #technology installation, #adequate budget, #unethical vendors, #huge purchase, #free stuff, #no hidden costs, #huge purchase later

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The Boss says to Dilbert, "I cut your budget in half." Dilbert replies, "How can I do a technology installation without an adequate budget?!" The Boss says, "Try being unethical with our vendors." Dilbert answers, "What?" The Boss replies, "It's easy." The Boss continues, "Tell them we might make a huge purchase. Later..." The Boss goes on to say, "...If they give us a bunch of free stuff now." The Boss says to Dilbert, "If it makes you feel better, wait until they lie first." The vendor representative says to Dilbert, "And there are no hidden costs." Dilbert says to the representative, "Um...we might make a huge purchase later."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #two faced, #employee, #see one, #turn around, #other faces, #confusing, #frustrating, #pointing

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Edfred: I disagree with Dilbert. The boss's plan is brilliant. Dilbert: Your other face agreed with me two minutes ago! What other face? No...I still just see the one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #edfred, #freak, #new hire, #new plan, #trust, #two faced employee, #two headed

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EDFRED: Hi, Im Edfred the two faced employee. If you tell your boss his new plan is stupid I'll back you up. Dilbert: Really? I don't like the looks of this.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #favorite stories, #meeting with boss, #urban legends, #we laughed, #told stories, #boss

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The Boss approaches Alice who is sitting at her desk. The Boss says to Alice, "Um...how was your meeting with my boss?" Alice answers, "We each told our favorite stories about you. Then we laughed and laughed." The Boss looks horrified. The Boss asks Alice, "He has stories about me?" Alice replies, "He thought they were urban legends."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #generic self help, #consultant, #keep a journal, #lead by example, #business

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Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dogcart consults, #software has bugs, #repackaging, #rust inhibitor, #error messages, #people aren't stupid, #they are, #spit when type

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Dogbert says to Dilbert and the Boss, "Your software product is riddled with bugs." Dogbert continues, "I recommend repackaging it as a rust inhibitor for computers." Dogbert says, "The ads will say 'you know it's working because of all the error messages'." Dilbert replies, "People aren't stupid." Dogbert answers, "According to my research they are." Dogbert shows a diagrahm of a human brain with each section labeled. The Boss replies, "I think the rust turned my exclamation upside down." Dilbert says, "That's the letter 'I'."