Back To Cubicle Comic Strips - Page 95

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #help, #Advice, #work, #fear, #job, #business

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Dilbert says, "In my spare time I came up with an idea for your project." Ted says, "Your idea is so good that it makes all the work I did for the past year a miserable mistake." Dilbert says, "You're welcome." Ted says, "I can't let you leave this cubicle alive."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #revenue, #firing, #prediction

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Dilbert says, "my side business Dilbertfiles.com, is getting lots of attention." Dilbert says, "I have a feeling I will soon be leaving my cubicle behind." Dogbert says, "Yep." Catbert says, "All in favor of firing this idiot for using company resources..."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #guard, #job, #transfer, #market, #economy, #stealing, #business, #Sports

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Catbert says, "You can have your old job back, but your compensation will reflect the new market reality." Catbert says, "You'll get a small base salary plus anything you can sneak past the guard in the lobby." Dilbert thinks, "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #choking, #meeting, #violence, #pain, #stupidity, #business

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The boss says, "I rehired Dilbert for a salary much lower than his previous pay." The boss says, "That makes the rest of you overpaid and expendable. Please welcome him back." Alice says, "How bout a hug?" Alice says, "Today you learned that hugging has a dark side." Dilbert says, "Ow."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #driving, #traveling, #angry, #dangerous

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Dilbert says, "Thanks for the ride. My company cut back on the travel budget." Driver says, "Do you mind if we stop at an abandoned slaughterhouse that's miles from civilization?" Dilbert says, "A little." Driver says, "Are you trying to make me angry?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #conversation, #lying, #deception

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The boss says, "I'll be right back after I inoculate our CEO." The boss says, "If you ever decide to reduce our layers of management, Carl is worthless and he thinks your kids look like the director of sales." The boss thinks, "That should buy me a few months."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #walking, #talking, #complaining, #Sports

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Dilbert says, "today I got in trouble for not doing something that I wasn't aware needed to be done." Dilbert says, "Yesterday I got in trouble for doing something that no one asked me to do, but needed to be done." Dilbert says, "Tomorrow I plan to sit in my cubicle like a frozen you-know-what and avoid all human contact." Dogbert says, "Does it rhyme with 'Bird'?"

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #suggestion, #improvements, #ridicule, #ignoring

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The boss says, ""Thanks for the suggestion. I will think about it and get back to you." Tina says, "Why do I have the feeling that you are actively forgetting my suggestion as I stand here?" Tina said, "Your head is where ideas go to die." The boss thinks, "I like pie."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new employee, #annoying, #frustrated, #cruel

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The boss says, "I hired a woman who laughs too much." Woman says, "Ha ha ha ha ha!" The boss says, "She'll be in the cubicle next to yours." Woman says, "Wa-ha ha ha ha!" Dilbert says, "I no longer worry about life passing too quickly."

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- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #newspaper, #economy, #hardship, #sacrifice, #Entertainment

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Elbonian says, "The big countries are having economic problems. Experts say it will soon affect Elbonia." Elbonian says, "We'll need to cut back on some of our luxury expenses." Elbonia says, "You can stop practicing your fetching," Pig says, "Should I ask why?"