Big Business Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for big business comic strips. Discover the best "Big Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags headache, laptop, meeting, evil director, human resources, laptops banned, meetings, should crushing boredom, futility headache, business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Computer: Laptops are banned from all meetings. The only things that should be in your mind during meetings are soul-crushing boredom and a futility headache. The boss: That's more like it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coworkers, beat up, deal with difficult coworkers, evil driector, human resources, business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Dilbert: Alice beat me up. You have to do something. Catbert: Here's a book on how to deal with difficult coworkers. Dilbert: This isn't quite what... Catbert: Try holding it in front of your face.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags bored, boredom, death & dying, meeting, canary, boring meetings, die of boredom, before humans, business

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The boss: I got a canary to warn us when our meetings are too boring. Canaries die of boredom before humans so... Dilbert: I guess he knew that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags job, lose my job, rate service superiro, service, successful man, survey, loose job, loose wife, business

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Mordac: You will get a survey asking you how satisfied you were with my service today. If you don't rate my service superior in all categories, I will lose my jobs and my wife will leave me for a more successful man. Dilbert: Is she cute? Mordac: Why do you ask?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags irony, meeting, ceo visits, change focus, make good prodcuts, pretending solvency, hologram, business

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The CEO visits CEO: We're going to change our focus... from pretending to make good products, to pretending to be solvent. On a related note, I've always been a hologram.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags complain, garbage, job, trash, new assignment, troll in charge, legacy systems, shouldn't complain, economy, free bag of garbage, business

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Dilbert: My new assignment is "troll in charge of the legacy systems." I guess I shouldn't complain. I'm lucky to have a job in this economy. Garbageman: Would a free bag of garbage make you feel better? Dilbert: A little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, business failures/bankruptcies, scapegoat, troll to scapegoat, goat costume, take balme, another deadline, slapping goat

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The boss: I'm promoting you from legacy systems troll to scapegoat. Your job is to dress in a goat costume and take the blame for all of our projects failing. Ted: We milled another deadline. All in favor of slapping the goat...

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags blame, costume, meeting, scapegoat, senario set up, luck, business

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Dilbert the scapegoat The Boss says, "I need you for a meeting with my boss." The Boss says, "About five minutes, into the meeting I'm going to start punching you. With any luck, my boss will join in." Dilbert says, "Maybe that shouldn?t be called luck." The Boss says, "Okay...Skill. Whatever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags anger, annoyance, business trip, humor, pleasure, offsite meeting, beelzebub inn, disgruntled underling book

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Wally says, "Where's our pointy haired boss?" Carol says, "He's at an offsite meeting to decide who to lay off." Carol says, "Don't worry. I booked the meeting at the Beelzebub Inn. No one has ever returned from there." The Boss says, "If you don't like the accommodations, next time have your own disgruntled underling book a place."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags boss, dehumanizing, easier to downsize, employees, insulting nickname, meeting, osama, rudeness, enemy, business

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The Boss says, I have assigned a secret insulting nickname to each of you." The Boss says, "It's my way of dehumanizing the enemy so it will be easier to downsize you." Ted says, "The enemy?" The Boss says, "That's enough out of you, Osama."