Ceo Stepped Down Comic Strips - Page 95

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #raise, #rejection, #violence

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "You want a raise? I have one word for you." Dogbert says, "Goink!" Dogbert says, "I love having a new favorite word."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #budget, #cut backs, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Until the company returns to profitability I will only fly coach." Dogbert says, "I'll book three coach seats in a row so I can stretch out." Dogbert says, "One of you will be a Sherpa for my bedding." Dogbert says, "I'll bring my own air marshal to punch anyone who talks while I'm napping." Dogbert says, "And a videographer so I can see the playback when I wake up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #bank, #buyout, #financial crisis, #economy, #ridicule

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Now that you've run your bank into the ground, I plan to buy it for a dollar." Dogbert says, "In phase two I'll use common business words to insult you for a job poorly done." Dogbert says, "What do you think of that, you big fiduciary bag?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #greed, #meeting, #evil, #anger, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Our new financial product is a hybrid of risky mortgage loans and a ponzi scheme." Dogbert says, "We'll cover our bad losses with our profits from making even worse loans." Dogbert says, "I'll need some wagging room while It tell you how this ties into my bonus structure."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #throwing, #mug, #pain, #violence, #anger, #business

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Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Does anyone have any questions about my strategies?" Ted says, "Yes, I?" Zing! Bonk! Dogbert says, "This isn't the dotcom era."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #negotiations, #unfair, #greed, #money

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Dogbert the CEO man says, "The union will agree to deep cuts if you agree to work for one dollar per year." Dogbert says, "I agree, as long as I get my pay in advance and the mandatory retirement age is waived." Man says, "Fine." Dogbert says, "Call payroll and tell them to cut a check for my next ten billion years of service."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office, #poster, #cheap, #cruel, #mena, #cannibalism, #reading

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Dogbert the CEO The boss says, "The new motivational posers are in." the boss says, "As you requested, I bought the least expensive ones." Dogbert says, "Excuse me while I stretch my wagger." If all else fails?your coworkers are edible

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flash, #camera, #danger, #death, #injury, #medical

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Dilbert says, "The flash on our smart phone prototype is so strong that it's dangerous." The boss says, "I'd better show this to our CEO." Dilbert says, "Is that really a good idea?" Dogbert says, "Now pose with Ted so I can get a group shot."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapist, #imagination, #prank, #lying down, #cruel, #psychology

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Dilbert says, "I worry that the bolzmann brain hypothesis is true and my reality is entirely imagined." Dilbert says, "But if I'm imagining my life, why don't I imagine better things happening to me?" Therapist thinks, "I'll probably regret this practical joke." Mmmm

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #economy, #money, #investments, #topping, #comparing, #proud, #bragging

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Topper Dilbert says, "Gaaa! My stocks are down 70%!" Topper says, "That's nothing!" Topper says, "Today I discovered that my house is insulated with cheese." Dilbert says, "Gouda?" Topper says, "Grated."