Current Job Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

954 Results for Current Job

View 941 - 950 results for current job comic strips. Discover the best "Current Job" comics from Dilbert.com.

Saying You Are Dumb

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Saying You Are Dumb - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #job, #change, #technology, #dumb, #imply, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support ted: i can't figure out how to use your product. what should i do? dogbert: i recommend changing jobs to something less challenging. ted: are you saying i'm dumb? dogbert's once from phone: no. no. no. i'm only implying it.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thwarting Alice's Career

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thwarting Alice's Career - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #mentor, #deny, #Promotion, #compete, #thwart, #career, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: can you mentor me? boss: heck, no. you're only one promotion away from competing for my job. alice: well, maybe you could just stop thwarting my career? boss: no, same issue.

Poison Pill

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Poison Pill - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #co-worker, #cross-train, #business, #relationship, #training, #bad, #fire, #poison pill, #planner

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.

Who Is The Fool

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Who Is The Fool - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #install, #server, #upgrade, #fool, #lie, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

vendor: we can't finish the installation unless you buy our server upgrade. dilbert: that means you lied when you bid for the job, because you did not include a server upgrade. vendor: who's the fool now? dilbert: that would be me.

Upgrade Schedule

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Upgrade Schedule - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #vendor, #network, #upgrade, #allocating, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

vendor: we should be able to finish the network upgrade in about three months. dilbert: when you bid for the job. you said it would take thirty days. vendor: if we're allocating blame. i'm not the one who was dumb enough to believe me.

Judging By Looks

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Recreational Data

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Recreational Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buisness, #management, #managing, #cloud, #personal, #information, #laugh, #legal, #recreation

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: the best part about my new job managing the cloud is that i get to laugh at everyone's personal information. dilbert: you're not suppose to be looking at anyone's personal data. dogbert: i'm fairly sure it's legal if i only do it recreationally.

Social Distancing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Social Distancing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #eighties, #health, #hug, #managers & supervisors, #practice, #social distancing, #virus, #coronavirus

View Transcript

Transcript

boss with face mask: wally, i need you to practice "social distancing" until the virus risk has passed. wally: i already do that. i haven't hugged anyone since the eighties. boss: good job. high-five. wally: back off.

Believing Experts

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Believing Experts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #debates, #Opinion, #expert, #facts, #current events, #Politics

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Haha! You idiot! How dare you dis-agree with the foremost experts in this field! Dilbert: Here's a breaking story about those same experts being arrested today for falsifying data. In a sane world, this information would serve to modify your strong opinion. Man: That's not how any of this works.

Emergency Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Emergency Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boring, #boss, #emergency, #excuses, #office workers, #technology, #work

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Do you have any emergencies for me to work on? Boss: I do. Dilbert: Perfect! I needed an excuse to avoid working on the boring parts of my job. Boss: I also need your status report by end of day. Dilbert: I would totally do that if not for this darned emergency.