Figured Out Comic Strips - Page 95
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1000 Results for Figured Out
View 941 - 950 results for figured out comic strips. Discover the best "Figured Out" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 26,
2008
Tags #leaning, #sitting, #magazine, #piece of mind
Transcript
Sitting There Wally thinks, "Leaning? What's that got to do with sitting?" Wally thinks, "I remember when Sitting There meant something. I'm going to give them a piece of my mind." A voice says, "Frankly, we ran out of things to say about sitting." Wally says, "I find that hard to believe!"
Tuesday November 11,
2008
Tags #spam filter, #rewrote business plan, #build an army, #indestructible robots, #new org chart, #microwave
Transcript
Carol says, "Our spam filter became self-aware. It rewrote our business plan." Carol says, "It wants us to build an army of indestructible robots." Carol says, "And the new org chart is out. It looks like you report to... the microwave."
Monday December 22,
2008
Tags #blame, #costume, #date, #lying, #work clothes, #scapegoat, #depatment, #entire comapny, #men in unifrom
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I didn't have time to change out of my work clothes." Dilbert says, "I'm working as a scapegoat for my department. Someday I hope to be a scapegoat for the entire company." Dilbert says, "You told me women like men in uniform." Dogbert says, "I say things."
Friday December 26,
2008
Tags #firings, #hell, #satan, #trip, #executive retreat, #downsize, #someplace warm, #pool
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, book an executive retreat so we can figure out which one of you to downsize." The Boss says, "Find us someplace warm." The Boss says, "Do you have a pool?" the devil says, "You could call it that."
Tuesday December 30,
2008
Tags #boss, #dehumanizing, #easier to downsize, #employees, #insulting nickname, #meeting, #osama, #rudeness, #enemy, #business
Transcript
The Boss says, I have assigned a secret insulting nickname to each of you." The Boss says, "It's my way of dehumanizing the enemy so it will be easier to downsize you." Ted says, "The enemy?" The Boss says, "That's enough out of you, Osama."
Thursday January 07,
2010
Tags #doubting, #challenge, #bible, #god, #scare, #planned, #Religion
Transcript
The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to work with a greater sense of urgency." Wally says, "The Bible says, "Good things come to those who wait." Wally says, "SO it's basically you against God. Let me know when you two get it sorted out." Dilbert says, "Really? There was thunder when he doubted you?" Wally says, "I synchronize my excuses to weather forecasts."
Monday January 11,
2010
Tags #bad news, #awkward, #funny face
Transcript
Man says, "A salesman borrowed the demo unit that you flew across the country to see." Man says, "Can I show you something totally irrelevant so this doesn't feel so awkward?" Dilbert says, "Give me a minute to get out of the splatter zone."
Saturday January 30,
2010
Tags #ceo, #incompetent, #dogbert investment bank, #shareholder, #bribe, #merger, #unwise, #commission, #best seller, #read, #jail
Transcript
Dogbert says, "You're an incompetent CEO, but the Dogbert Investment Bank can help you pretend to unlock shareholder value." Dogbert says, "I'll arrange an unwise merger so you can cash out while I collect an obscene commission." Dogbert says, "It's like a bribe, but instead of going to jail, a stranger will write a bestselling book with your name on it." CEO says, "Can I read it?"
Wednesday February 03,
2010
Tags #ted, #wrong, #termination, #fired, #documents, #security access, #passwords, #fix, #fugitive, #security, #trick
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, you filled out Ted's termination documents wrong. You put my name in the box as the fired employee." The Boss says, "My security access has been revoked. My phone is shut off, and my passwords are deactivated." The Boss says, "You need to fix this." Carol says, "Security, I found the fugitive."
Wednesday February 10,
2010
Tags #boss, #stuck, #ductwork, #device, #pressure, #push, #shoot, #foom, #fly into the air, #rocket, #airplane, #hang onto wing, #koi pond
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Our device will create enough pressure to gently push our boss's carcass out of the ductwork." FOOM! Captain says, "This is Captain Sullenberger. Don't worry about the wing; I see a koi pond down there."