Hours Of Work Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Hours Of Work

View 941 - 950 results for hours of work comic strips. Discover the best "Hours Of Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 02, 1998's comic on:


Tags #work nights, #work weekends, #quit, #clear out desk, #inspire, #boss tells engineers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "We can only succeed if each of us works nights and weekends for a year!" Dilbert says, "I quit." Wally says, "I'll clear out my desk." Alice says, "Me too." Dilbert says, "Or was that supossed to inspire us?" Wally says, "Like I'd know."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #rat, #answers phone, #consulting compnay, #good pay, #investment banking, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert walks by the phone as it rings. Ratbert answers the phone. Ratbert says, "Hello, I'm a rat." The voice on the other end of the phone says, "This is a consulting company. We'll pay you $200,000 per year to work for us." Ratbert says, "I'm more interested in investment banking." The voice says, "#*@ Job market."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr diretor, #improve perfromance, #feel bad, #faults, #boss lists faults, #hoping for improvement

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: Catbert: H.R. Director Catbert stands on the top of a chair talking to the boss. Catbert says, "You can improve an employee's performance by making him feel bad about himself." The Boss says, "So, although that wouldn't work on me, it works fine on other people?" Catbert says, "Exactly." The boss stands behind Dilbert and reads from a piece of paper. The Boss says, "I'll read your faults one at a time. Tell me when your performance improves."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #time to work, #two assignments, #essential business, #boss solution, #impossible, #doesn't understand

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands in The Boss's doorway. Dilbert holds two pieces of paper. Dilbert says, "I have time to do ONE of these two assignments." Dilbert says, "One is essential to the business the other is not. Which ONE do you want me to do?" The Boss says, "Both!" Dilbert says, "I know you WANT both. But if you can only GET one..." The Boss says, "Combine them and just do one."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 13, 1998's comic on:


Tags #teach elbonians, #cobol, #reschedule, #send wally, #dilbert doesn't know cobol

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert stands with The Boss. Dilbert's arms are raised in anger. Dilbert says, "Why are sending ME to teach cobol to the Elbonians? Wally is the one who knows cobol, not me." The Boss says, "Wally said he's busy that day." Dilbert says, "Can't you reschedule the class." The Boss says, "Okay... does tomorrow work for you?" Dilbert raises his clenched fists. Dilbert says, "YOU"RE SOLVING THE WRONG PROBLEM!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #open plan office, #cameras record employees, #monitor phone calls, #surveillance, #test blood, #flog them

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert stands on a desk facing the Boss. Catbert says, "We'll take away the cubicle walls and force emplyees to work in an "open plan" office." Catbert says, "Surveillance cameras will record their every move. We'll monitor phone calls and web use. We'll even test their blood!" The Boss says, "Can we flog them?" Catbert says, "Whoa, cowboy! Wait for phase two."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #new guy, #name, #wallet, #hunts for wallet, #appears like hug

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice stands in her cubicle with the headless man. Alice says, "If we're going to work together, I should know your name." Alice says, "Let's see if you have a wallet with some identification." Alice huge the headless man, her hands in his back pockets. Wally walks by. Wally says, "Geez, Alice, could you let the new guy settle in first?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #hr director, #tiny raises, #nothing to motivate, #alice complains

View Transcript

Transcript

Caption: "Catbert: H.R. Director" Alice sits in a chair across from Catbert's desk. Alice with her arms out says, "I work hard, but all I get are tiny raises." Catbert says, "If we gave you everything you wanted, then you would have nothing to motivate you." ALice says, "I don't want to be motivated." Catbert says, "That's why I enjoy doing it!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 10, 1998's comic on:


Tags #project plan, #justify resources, #change software, #software changes, #plan

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss and Dilbert sit at a table. The Boss has a piece of paper in front of him and Dilbert has his laptop. The Boss says, "I'll need a project plan to justify the resources we need to change our software." Dilbert says, "I can make those software shnages in ten seconds." Dilbert types on the laptop. He says, "Done." The Boss says, "Good work. Now all we need is that plan."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 1998's comic on:


Tags #fill out form, #rules, #helpless, #defeated atitude, #excellent job, #quitting time, #useless form

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert follows Carol as she walks away. Dilbert holds a piece of paper. Dilbert says, "Why should I fill out this form? It would take an hour and it doesn't even apply to me." Carol says, "I don't make the rules. I just apply them with a helpless and defeated attitude." Dilbert says, "You're doing an excellent job." Carol looks at her watch and says, "Seven more hours until quitting time."