Last Day Of Work Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Last Day Of Work

View 941 - 950 results for last day of work comic strips. Discover the best "Last Day Of Work" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #executive program, #relocate, #vindictive, #stress, #loser, #turn down opportunity, #train, #discomfort, #underlings

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You've been selected for our executive development program. That means we can make you relocate to any godforsaken dirt stain we want. As soon as you make friends or find romance, we'll move you to someplace new and worse. It won't be the sort of work you'll enjoy, and the stress might kill you. If you turn down this opportunity, the company will forever label you as a loser. If you accept the offer, the company will train you to find pleasure in the discomfort of your underlings. I'm doing it right now! Dilbert: I HATE MY LIFE!!! Boss: Yes, yes, say more.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #absent mindedness, #machinery, #build robots, #wait a week, #forgets

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Stop everything you're doing and build robots. Dilbert: Let's wait a week and see if he forgets. Boss: Does that work? Alice: It works with you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #frustration, #magic, #oogah-boogah, #folder, #assignment, #boss request, #attutude, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Alice, can you take care of this by close of business today? Alice: Oogah-boogah! Work be done! Let's hope magic is real! Boss: We need to talk about your attitude.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #automobile travel, #automobiles (cars), #weather, #zero degrees, #icy roads, #coffee, #traffic, #guradrail, #3 hours late

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You're just now getting here? Wally: It's zero degrees and the roads are all ice. I drank six cups of coffee before leaving the house and sat in traffic for two hours. Boss: You're three hours late. Wally: I spent the last hour stuck to a guardrail.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #debt, #future generations, #power to lazy, #bathroom mirror

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I say we throw future generations under the bus and do as little work as possible until we die. Power to the lazy! That sounded more awesome when I practiced it in the bathroom mirror this morning.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #tech support, #ticket window, #evaluated, #how helpful, #trouble tickets, #stubborness, #obsticle, #financial success, #disconnected, #new stranger, #hating

View Transcript

Transcript

Tech Support: Hello, this is tech support. May I close your ticket now? Dilbert: Um... no. You haven't helped me yet. I just called you. Tech Support: I'm not evaluated on how helpful I am. I'm evaluated on how many trouble tickets I close. Your stubbornness is becoming an obstacle to my financial success. By the way, if our call gets disconnected, I count that as a closed ticket. Dilbert: I'll make it quick. Tech Support: What? What? I can't hear you. Dilbert: Son of a beach ball! On the plus side, my goal of hating one new stranger every day is right on track.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secretary, #busy day, #phone rings, #lunch, #meetings, #bad timing

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Don't talk to me now, Im trying to think. ONE HOUR LATER Alice: Im on the phone. TWO HOURS LATER Alice: Im late for a meeting. THREE HOURS LATER Alice: Come back when Im not busy. FOUR HOURS LATER ALICE: Please. Im trying to eat my lunch. FIVE HOURS LATER Alice: Okay. this is a perfect time, what can I do for you? Dilbert: Okay, so.... ring Alice: I think your problem is bad timing.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frustration, #mobile (cell) phones, #dead battery, #charge cell phone, #too busy, #no time

View Transcript

Transcript

Co-worker: You never answer when I call your cell. Wally: My battery is dead. Co-worker: Maybe you should charge it for once. Wally: I don't have time for that. Co-worker: What do you do all day that makes you so busy? Wally: For starters, I have this conversation a lot.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #illness, #plunging productivity, #8 year old boy, #traylor, #germs, #doctor, #allergies, #gives to mom, #medical

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our plunging productivity is all because of an eight-year-old boy named Traylor. Traylor doesn't wash his hands, he brings home every virus and germ from school, and gives it to his mom, who brings it to work with her. Dilbert: Maybe you should see a doctor. Carol: It's just allergies!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office equipment, #upgrades, #servers, #upgrade some, #guard all

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We need to upgrade some of our servers. Coworker: That's dumb. We upgraded two of them last week. Dilbert: Right now we need to upgrade the rest of them. Coworker: Then why did you say we have to upgrade all of them? Dilbert: Well, I didn't. But I think we all agree on what needs to be done. Coworker: Not if you insist on upgrading the servers we already upgraded last week. Dilbert: Gaaaa!!! Kill me with a comet!!! Coworker: Does he ever say anything that makes sense? Wally: There's no way to be sure.