Long In Back Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Long In Back

View 941 - 950 results for long in back comic strips. Discover the best "Long In Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Better Listener Robot

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Better Listener Robot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags robot, boyfriend, free will, programming, listening, Opinion, relationships, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I'm updating your boyfriend code to make you a better listener. I want to see more nodding and less talking. Robot: But I have so much to offer. Alice: I'll dial back your ego, too.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Wally's Sleep Vr

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally's Sleep Vr - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags vr, virtual reality, sleeping, nap, deception, technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I wrote a VR program that creates the illusion you are asleep. Watch me demonstrate. ZZZZZ. CEO: How long should I watch?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags climate change, carbon dioxide, emissions, global warming, environmental issues

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I invited a climate scientist to explain the risk of climate change to our company. Man: Human activity is warming the earth and will lead to a global catastrophe. Dilbert: How do scientists know that? Man: It's easy. We start with the basic science of physics and chemistry. Then we measure changes in temperature and CO2 over time. We put that data into dozens of different climate models and ignore the ones that look wrong to us. Then we take that output and run it through long-term economic models of the sort that have never been right. Dilbert: What if I don't trust the economic models? Man: Who hired the science denier?

Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Cyborg Makes Wally Unnecessary - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags automation, cyborg, technology, work ethic

View Transcript

Transcript

Randy: I am using the microchip in my brain to plan the entire project. Okay... done. The rest of you can go back to your cubicles and continue doing nothing. Wally: I spent my entire life getting ready for this sort of future and it's going down easy.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags artificial intelligence, ai, robot, hope, dream, depression, meaning, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Open Office Plan Failed

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Open Office Plan Failed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office, office workers, cubicle, change, mistake, admission, hubris

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our transition to an open office plan has been a huge failure. Too many distractions. How can we change back to cubicles and private offices without looking like idiots? Are you listening to me? Boss: Is someone nursing a baby over there?

Boss Wants Private Office

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Wants Private Office - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags cubicle, office, office workers, privacy, open office

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The employees are complaining because our new open office plan has too many distractions. CEO: You want to go back to cubicles? Boss: No, I just need a private so I can't hear them complaining.

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, office, cubicle, depression, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

Immersive Vr Is Immortal

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Immersive Vr Is Immortal - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags virtual reality, vr, mortality, immortal, human, ai, artificial intelligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: Kevin, the immersive VR employee. Dilbert: I have to keep reminding myself that you don't really exist. Kevin: I have to keep reminding myself that your organic personality was long ago replaced with prescription medications. Dilbert: At least I'm real! Kevin: At least I'm immortal. Tick-tock. Tick-tock.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags greed, scavenging, cannibal, furniture, energy, vibes, health

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: My chair is broken. I need a new one. Boss: You can take Ted's chair. I fired him this morning. Alice: That feels icky. Boss: It's just a chair. Alice: Ted was a creepy underperformer. I don't want his loser energy on me. Boss: That's your only option unless I fire someone else today. Alice: Okay, give me an hour to do some back-stabbing and rumor-mongering. Boss: I'll just let that situation work itself out. Alice: Nice chair. Dilbert: Why did my fight-or-flight instinct just kick in?