Men More Perceptive Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Men More Perceptive

View 941 - 950 results for men more perceptive comic strips. Discover the best "Men More Perceptive" comics from Dilbert.com.

World's Greatest Economist

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
World's Greatest Economist - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #coincidence, #deception, #economist, #economy, #money, #random jargon, #art, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.

Mansplaining The Network

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mansplaining The Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mansplainer, #mansplaining, #relations between the sexes, #sexism, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Mansplaining. Man: Let me explain how our network is designed. Alice: I personally designed our network and I know far more about it than you ever will. Man: Do you know what a cloud is? Alice: It's where you'll be playing your harp in a minute.

Brainstorm With Other Engineers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Brainstorm With Other Engineers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product design, #managers, #marketing, #simplicity, #complication, #inventions, #ideas, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Our marketing people tell me your double-handed coffee mug could be a huge seller. Brainstorm with the other engineers and see if it needs more features. Wally: Do you have any other ideas for ruining the product, or should I focus on that one?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #flirting, #romance, #privacy, #stalking, #creepy, #creeper, #gestures, #gifts, #coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

The New Employee. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. I bought you a book. Woman: Okay, weird. Who buys gifts for new co-workers? And how did you know this is my favorite author? Dilbert: I asked one of the network guys to check your browser history. Catbert assured me that employees have no right to privacy. I heard that women like it when men put thought into a gift. I hope you appreciate my romantic gesture. Wally: Did she make a romantic gesture back? Dilbert: I choose to interpret it that way.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dating, #social, #social interaction, #honesty, #politeness, #overshare, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: So, tell me a little about yourself, and be totally honest. Dilbert: Totally honest? Okay... I like technology more than I like people. I don't believe in free will, soulmates, or following my passion. I think life is a brief, meaningless event in a random universe that doesn't care. I only associate with other people because I have biological and economical needs. I think all human actions are driven by selfishness. Woman: Uh... okay. Do you have any questions for me? Dilbert: Am I still being totally honest or should I act curious?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meditate, #meditation, #mindful, #mindfulness, #mbct, #stress, #trick, #laziness, #deception, #work ethic, #ruse, #nap, #napping

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Do you mind if I take Steve Jobs' advice and practice meditation and mindfulness? Science says meditation can reduce stress and make me more productive. And obviously it worked for Steve Jobs, so there's that. To the untrained eye, it will seem as if I am napping. But in reality, I will be quieting my mind to boost creativity. Boss: Meditate on your own time. Wally: Wow. That just stressed me out and shut down my creative juices. Boss: Just do your job! Wally: Because quality doesn't matter?

Alice Attracts Wrong Guys

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Attracts Wrong Guys - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #stalk, #stalker, #stalking, #dating, #drone, #spying, #spy, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: I have a history of dating men who become stalkers. But I have a good feeling about this new guy. He shows no stalker tendencies at all. Dilbert: What's he do for a living? Alice: Aerial photography using drones.

Useful Meetings

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Useful Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #leadership, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to come to a meeting now. Dilbert: Can I do something useful instead? Boss: The meeting will be useful. Dilbert: More useful than what I'm doing? Boss: How would I know? Dilbert: Is all leadership random or just yours?

Four Hour Meeting

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Four Hour Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #decisions, #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #time, #time management, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Yesterday, in our four-hour meeting, we agreed to postpone the vendor selection. Dilbert: No, we agreed to use our existing vendor. Asok: I thought we agreed to cancel the whole project. Dilbert: We might need some clarity on this. Boss: Four more hours should do it.

Checking On Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Checking On Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #criticism, #insult, #strategy, #managers, #underling

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I researched the assumptions behind your strategy and discovered they are unfounded. So I guess that means you will be changing your strategy. Alice: Did it make a difference? Dilbert: Yes, in the sense that he hates me more.