New Products Comic Strips - Page 95

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View 941 - 950 results for new products comic strips. Discover the best "New Products" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #statue of liberty, #destroy, #pr, #responsibility, #clean up, #new york harbor, #light show, #weapon demo, #consultant, #cuba, #air force, #sink, #yell, #angry, #private jet, #head, #business

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Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "So you accidentally destroyed the Statue of Liberty?" Dogbert says, "Her head is floating toward Cuba, and the president will probably order the air force to sink it." CEO says, "I should watch that from my private jet." Dogbert says, "FOCUS!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public relations, #statue of liberty, #destroy, #new york harbor, #weapon demo, #remorse, #fake, #glasses, #fake tears, #water, #flood

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Dogbert the public relations consultant Dogbert says, "The public won't forgive you until you fake some remorse." Dogbert says, "These glasses have a hose that leads to a pumping station and a huge reservoir of fake tears." CEO says, "If we have another press conference, we should crack open a window."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #test, #product, #fail, #fake, #data

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Dilbert says, "We added a new performance test, but learned that the test itself is flawed." The Boss says, "Now our product fails our own tests and our customers are asking to see the test results." Dilbert says, "Do I have permission to fake the test data?" The Boss says, "I didn't even know data can be real."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product safety testing, #angry, #rodney, #swear, #ship, #bandage

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The Boss says, "This is Rodney. He's in charge of product safety testing." The Boss says, "Is our new product safe enough to start selling?" Rodney says, "$#%*" The Boss says, "Did that sound like 'ship' to you?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new job, #internal, #human resources, #celebrate, #dance, #eyes closed, #mouth open, #double, #business

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Catbert says, "Good news, Alice. You got the internal job you posted for." Alice says, "YES!!!" Catbert says, "You'll need to keep doing your old job too." Alice says, "Did you just make me celebrate a doubling of my workload?" Catbert says, "Thank you for acknowledging my awesomeness."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new job, #double workload, #hold papers, #complain, #exaggerate, #sit in chair

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Alice says, "Did I tell you I'm doing two jobs now?" Dilbert says, "About a million times." Dilbert says, "You've complained about it so much that it's like a song I can't get out of my head." Alice says, "I only found out yesterday." Dilbert says, "I'm trying to get ahead of it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #frankenstein, #human resources, #focus group, #scared, #angry, #fire marshal, #economy, #job market, #business

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Catbert says, "We need someone to run focus groups about our existing products." Frankenstein says, "What is a focus group?" Catbert says, "In our case, it's like mob of angry villagers armed with sharp pens." Catbert says, "And you'd also be the fire marshal for the floor. Are you in?" Catbert says, "Yeah. It's a tough job market."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #facebook, #twitter, #marketing, #social media, #new employee, #coworker, #cats, #drunk, #stupid, #business, #technology

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Beth says, "As the marketing manager for social media, my job is to use these two words a lot." Beth says, "Marketing through social media is like herding cats. And just to make it interesting, many of the cats are drunk and stupid." Dilbert says, "Burn." Catbert says, "I am totally defriending that witch."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #new product, #block of wood, #ceo, #salesman, #high forehead, #inneundo, #leader

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Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pitchman, #new product, #salesman, #block of wood, #machine, #rays, #reality distortion, #stand on stool, #consumers

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Dogbert the Pitchman Dogbert says, "Fire up the reality distortion field as soon as I'm introduced." Dogbert says, "Our product is nothing but a block of wood, and yet you need three of them." Man says, "I am a creative individual who does as he is told." Man 2 says, "I can't feel my arm!"