Quality Meeting Comic Strips - Page 95

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1000 Results for Quality Meeting

View 941 - 950 results for quality meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Quality Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #executives, #slapped ceo, #report says, #success is following your instinct, #being passionate, #engaged, #creative, #meaningful, #office meeting, #literal meeting

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Catbert: This report says you slapped our CEO senseless after he said they key to success is following your instinct. Alice: I was following my instinct. I was also being passionate, engaged, and creative. Catbert: Apparently the things you say actually mean stuff. CEO: How was I to know!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #anger, #interrupting work, #jargon, #meeting with boss, #not enough passion, #stupid trendy, #performance evaluation

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Boss: You don't show enough passion for your job. Dilbert: Stop interrupting my work with your stupid, trendy management jargon! Was that better or worse? I don't know how to tell.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #lying, #non disclosure agreement, #disbelief, #wrong person, #mighty judgy, #so many secrets

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Man: I need you to sign a non-disclosure agreement before we start. Wally: We don't need that because no one believes a word I say anyway. Man: Maybe I'm meeting with the wrong person. Wally: You're mighty judgy for a guy with so many secrets.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 06, 2014's comic on:


Tags #create itself, #execute, #executives, #obliviousness, #strategy, #succeed, #meeting, #emplyees, #discussion, #business

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CEO: We can only succeed if we execute. Wally: How is that different from saying we can only succeed if we succeed. CEO: There's also the strategy. Wally: Does the strategy create itself?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 18, 2014's comic on:


Tags #conference call, #deal, #deception, #employees, #meeting, #negotiate, #telephones, #business

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Conference Call Phone: Wally, can you take the lead on that? Wally: This is Ted. I just joined the call. I'll take care of that for Wally. Phone: Thanks, Ted. Wally: I'm crushing it today.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #investor, #investors, #pick up lines, #start up idea, #funding, #saturday night drinks, #date

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Alice: An angel investor agreed to meet with me about my start-up idea. Dilbert: You need to be careful because he might be... Alice: We're meeting for drinks at his house on Saturday night. Dilbert: I'm socially inept and even I know that sounds wrong. Alice: He keeps texting to say he can't wait to fund me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cell phones, #distraction, #frustration, #multitasking, #phone, #smart phones, #playing, #karma, #wishing death

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Dilbert: I would like to thank each of you for playing with your phones and not listening to a word I said all meeting. I hope karma is a real thing and frozen lavatory debris from airplanes kills each of you. Alice: What was he going on about? Wally: Beats me. I'm not much of a multitasker.

Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident

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Carol Says Dilbert Had A Vacuuming Accident - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 19, 2014's comic on:


Tags #excuses, #lying, #tardiness, #traffic, #vacuum, #freak accident, #vacuuming naked, #bad traffic

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Carol: Dilbert called to say he'd be late for your meeting. He said something about having a freak accident while vacuuming naked. Dilbert: Did you tell him traffic was bad? Carol: More or less.

Dilbert Meets The Mom

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Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents, #mother, #efficiency, #ebola, #shake hands, #Family, #relationships

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Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!

Super Pumpedness

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Super Pumpedness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2015's comic on:


Tags #ceos, #jargon, #nausea, #super pumpedness, #bag, #vomit

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CEO: The quality we look for in our employees is "super pumpedness." Alice: Blechhhh!!! I told you to bring a bag.