Same People Comic Strips - Page 95

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Same People

View 941 - 950 results for same people comic strips. Discover the best "Same People" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #snob, #business snob, #shake hand, #Dilbert, #buck passer, #cheaper, #regular employee

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "I hired a buck-passer." "He's cheaper than a regular employee because he gets other people to do his work." "Could you shake his hand for me, sport? I don't have that kind of time."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapy, #bossy, #session, #therapist mean, #comments, #insulting, #Advice, #hurtful, #looks, #date, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I have uncontrollable urges to show people better ways to do things. Do you think the real issue might be my insecurity? Therapist: Well, I wouldn't date you but thats mostly because of your looks. Dilbert: Not helping,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pleasure seeking orons, #shard filled donuts, #delicious, #40 thousand caloire

View Transcript

Transcript

"My company is selling gigantic, shard-filled doughnuts with forty thousand calories apiece." "It's based on Dogbert's theory that people are pleasure-seeking morons." "How does it taste?" "Delicious! I have one for you strapped to my car"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hazardous donuts, #free will, #illuison, #perceived path, #greatest pleasure, #rationalize, #deciosn, #mindless robot

View Transcript

Transcript

"You can't resist the shard-filled ultra-doughnuts even though you know the hazards." "Mmph" "Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure." "Now, rationalize your decision, you mindless pink robot!" "I'm only having one."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #off color email, #75 poeple, #thought funny, #one compalined, #punished, #sensible, #punish complainer

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: "I understand that you forwarded an off-color e-mail to many people." "Seventy-Five people thought it was funny but one person complained, so you must be punished." "Wouldn't it make more sense to punish the freak who complained?" "Do I look sensible?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #knowledge is power, #crush you

View Transcript

Transcript

Remember: Knowledge is power. "So never tell people anything because they might use it to crush you." "Do you understand?" "I'm not saying."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #marketing needs volunteers, #ads stimulate, #people brains, #cat scan, #see coming

View Transcript

Transcript

"Marketing needs volunteers for a study about how our ads stimulate people's brains." "Who among us would like to get a cat scan?" "Okay, seriously, who didn't see this coming?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big dumb guy, #disagree, #lazy, #habitual liar, #excellent track record, #excellent work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss brings a Big Dumb Guy to Alice's desk. He says, "Alice, I'd like you to work with this big dumb guy." The Boss continues, "He doesn't know he's dumb. So he'll tell people you're dumb if you ever disagree." The Boss: "He's also lazy and a habitual liar." Alice shouts, "Then why do you let him work here?!" The Boss explains, "He has an excellent track record. No one knows why." In front of the Boss and Alice, the Big Dumb Guy bends over and picks up the document that Alice was working on from her desk. Big Dumb Guy shows Alice's document to the Boss. Big Dumb Guy says, "Look what I just did." The Boss responds, "Excellent work." Alice is flabbergasted. The Boss tries to console Alice, who is furious, with "Remember Alice, you're never too old to learn."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managing by analogies, #dogbert presents, #distribution problem, #eskimos, #gather ice, #lean summer months, #eat penguins, #hibachi, #ban for life

View Transcript

Transcript

Title reads: "Dogbert Presents." Dogbert stands in front a sign, reading "Managing by Analogies." He says, "It's easy!" The Boss and Dilbert at a table. The Boss says, "We'll solve our distribution problem the eskimo way." Dilbert responds, "Huh?" The Boss continues, "The eskimos gather ice all winter long." Then, "Later, during the lean summer months, the eskimos eat the ice they stored." The Boss adds, "We'll do the same thing." Dilbert explains, "But... the eskimos would starve if they only ate ice." The Boss says, "Maybe they eat penguins too. They're delicious." The Boss stands and adds, "Did you know the zoo can ban you for life if they catch you using a hibachi?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pointy hired boss, #phone, #email, #pager, #electronic attempts, #ruin productivity, #send in ground trrops, #return some calls

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol shows up in Dilbert's cubicle wearing a backpack and holding a staff. Carol says, "The pointy-haired boss wants to see you." Carol says, "He tried to reach you by phone, e-mail and pager." Carol says, "But you resisted his electronic attempts to ruin your productivity." Carol says, "so he decided to send in the ground troops." Carol pionts the staff at Dilbert and says, "Don't make me use this!" Dilbert stand in the boss' office. the boss says, "Could you wait outside while I return some phone calls?" Wally and Alice stand in line. Wally says, "Get to the back of the line." Dilbert stands behind three random people. Dilbert says, "Does everyone want to have a conversation?" The man in front of Dilbert says, "I have a magazine."