Tell Everything Comic Strips - Page 95

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957 Results for Tell Everything

View 941 - 950 results for tell everything comic strips. Discover the best "Tell Everything" comics from Dilbert.com.

Still Get Paid

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Still Get Paid - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #colleagues, #unreliable, #false, #true, #paid, #process, #believe, #sarcasm

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tina: i've been keeping a running list, and it seems that 100% of the things you told me this year have been false. wally: and we both got paid, so what's your point? tina: i...don't know how to process that. wally: i'd tell you, but apparently you wouldn't believe me.

Everyone Is An Idiot

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Everyone Is An Idiot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #office workers, #sarcasm, #world, #idiot, #serious

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alice: sometimes, asok, i think everyone in the world is an idiot except for you and me. asok: i can't tell if you are serious. alice: i guess it's down to just me.

Blaming The Last Manager

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Blaming The Last Manager  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #wrong, #fault, #manager, #inherited, #problem, #excellent, #leadership

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boss: everything that went wrong this year was the fault of the prior manager. i inherited his problems. dilbert: but everything that went right was because of your excellent leadership? boss: no jumping ahead.

Wally's Success

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Wally's Success - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #track, #success, #work, #correlation, #working, #sarcasm, #unproductive

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wally: i've been tracking my successes at work relative to my efforts, and i see no correlation. so if you see me not working hard, you should assume everything is fine. boss: you've never had a success to track. wally: i was hoping you didn't know that.

Internal Audit

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Internal Audit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #audit, #accounting, #internal, #shoo, #great, #job

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auditor: i'll be performing an internal audit of your department. boss: there are no audit problems here because i won't let you look for them. shoo! auditor: that's good enough for me. can you tell my boss i did a great job?

Talking To Wally

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Talking To Wally - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #office workers, #health, #alone time, #listen, #crazy, #hate, #talking, #fake, #empathy, #business, #coffee

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dilbert: dogbert doesn't believe me when i tell him i need more alone time for my mental health. wally: why would he listen to you when you're obviously crazy? dilbert: i hate talking to you. wally: should i fake more empathy.

Traumatic Story

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Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #sales, #sales personnel, #business, #technology, #salesman, #traumatic, #experience, #child, #story, #relate, #manipulate, #emotions, #short-circuit, #critical, #thinking

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salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

No Need To Zoom

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No Need To Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #technology, #video call, #voice call, #email, #texting, #zoom, #meeting, #update, #team, #laptop, #cell phone, #link, #progress

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boss: i'll schedule a zoom call with the whole team tomorrow to give the update. dilbert: or you could tell me tomorrow, and i'll tell the rest of the team on our noon zoom call. boss: um, okay. i'll send you a zoom link tomorrow. dilbert: does our call need to be a video call? can we do a voice call? boss: well, yes, i guess we could just do a voice call. dilbert: do we need to talk, or can you just send me an an email? boss: i suppose i could just send you an email. dilbert: okay. we're making progress. now, have you heard of "texting"?

Cameras Can See You

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Cameras Can See You  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #business ethics, #technology, #hackers, #camera, #digital device, #skills, #detection, #performance, #review, #minutes, #laptop, #coffee

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boss and wally on video call. wally: did you know hackers can see you and hear you through the cameras on your digital devices? in fact, someone with my skills could do it in minutes and never be detected. boss: what are you trying to tell me? wally: it's just something to keep in mind when you do my performance review.

Shaking Hands

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Shaking Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #invent, #Alternative, #handshake, #high-five, #month, #coffee

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boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?