Time Comic Strips - Page 95
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1000 Results for Time
View 941 - 950 results for time comic strips. Discover the best "Time" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 21,
2013
Tags deception, walking races, urgent looking walk, wasting time, magnificent creature
Transcript
Wally: I'm practicing my urgent-looking walk. This walk says I'm working on stuff that is so important I can't risk wasting five seconds. Coworker 1: Who is that magnificent creature? Coworker 2: That man has someplace to be!
Monday October 14,
2013
Tags inventions, magic, thinking, already exits, morphic field, pseudo scinec, crappy genes, filberts mother, explains things
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I think I've invented something, I find out it already exists. Mombert: Maybe that's because all minds are connected by the morphic field. Dilbert: Morphic fields are pseudoscience, mom. Mombert: I also blame your dad's crappy genes.
Tuesday October 22,
2013
Tags choosing, stress, vacations, unlimited vacation days, torpedo career, source of stress, set up, manipulate
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources Catbert: We're jumping on the fad of giving employees unlimited vacation days. The only gating factor will be the knowledge that taking any time off whatsoever will torpedo your career. Alice: So... now our vacations will be a source of stress? Catbert: Only as much as you want. It's totally up to you.
Monday November 04,
2013
Tags burglars & robbers, frustration, lab, stealing back cables, worse problem, boss, adds fuel to fire
Transcript
Dilbert: Every time I leave the lab, some jerk steals my cables and replaces them with their bad ones. Then I have to spend hours stealing back one cable at a time and testing each one. Boss: Doesn't that make you one of the cable-stealing jerks? Dilbert: You've never met a problem you couldn't worsen.
Sunday December 08,
2013
Tags executives, laziness, managers & supervisors, famous leaders, copy, 16 hrs a day, reading about industry, leaders eat cake, business
Transcript
Dogbert: I have studied the practices of famous leaders so you can copy them. First, work sixteen hours every day. Boss & CEO: Sixteen hours?? Dogbert: And in your spare time, you should be reading about your industry to stay current. Boss & CEO: Reading??? Dogbert: Oookay. This isn't working. Suppose I told you that famous leaders eat a lot of cake? That took a creepy turn.
Friday December 06,
2013
Tags annoyance, friendship, internet & world wide web, facebook, freinds, post things, inconvienient, relationships
Transcript
Wally: I want to use Facebook to waste time at work, but I don't have any friends. Do you mind if I friend you? Dilbert: Sure. You'll be my only friend. Wally: Will you post things for me to look at. Dilbert: Wow. Friends are totally inconvenient.
Tuesday December 10,
2013
Tags obstinacy, public speaking, thinking, vet ideas, peers, hate ideas
Transcript
Dilbert: I've been asked to vet my idea with my peers. To save time, I am willing to stipulate that you hate all ideas that are not your own. All in favor? Alice: I hate this idea, too.
Thursday December 19,
2013
Tags executives, rich people, wages, ceo lifestyle, yacht, penthouse, estate, priceless art, million dollar watch, money
Transcript
Dilbert: Hey, look! There's a story on the Internet about your fabulous CEO lifestyle. Here's a picture of your yacht, your penthouse in New York, your palatial estate, and your priceless art. CEO: This really isn't the time. Dilbert: Said the man with the million-dollar watch.
Wednesday January 01,
2014
Tags television news, act like idiots, mirror, details in mirror
Transcript
Dogbert: In today's news, people all over the world continued to act like idiots. Most of the time it didn't turn out well. For details, look in your mirror.
Monday January 06,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, suspicion, startegic engineer group, worst in one group, insightful, business
Transcript
Boss: Ted, I'm moving you to a newly formed strategic engineering group. Ted; Are you putting all of your worst employees in one group so you can later eliminate the function and avoid firing each person individually? Boss: You picked a bad time to to become insightful.

