Dont Breathe Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dont Breathe

View 951 - 960 results for dont breathe comic strips. Discover the best "Dont Breathe" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"You know what's funny? I never studied engineering and I'm your boss." "In fact, I majored in...um...gosh, I don't remember." "You forgot your major?" "I don't bother remembering things I can write down."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"I'm thinking about buying a more fuel efficient car." "Why?" "It's my patriotic duty to reduce this country's dependency on foreign sources of oil." "Why?" "Because then the countries that hate us will have less money to fund terrorists." "Actually, developing countries would buy the oil you saved, thus adequately funding those same terrorists." "At least I wouldn't be funding them myself." "Oil is a fungible commodity. The capitalist system virtually guarantees that you'll end up buying the lowest cost oil from sources unknown to you." "Well, maybe, but I want my car to make a statement." "And the statement would be 'Hey, everyone, I don't understand what fungible means!'"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I need help making unrealistic assumptions to support a business case for a bad idea. "Easy." "There's a hole in the back of our wardrobe closet that leads to a magical world of preposterous business assumptions." "We don't have a wardrobe closet." "Assume we do."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

I can do this feasibility analysis in two minutes. "It's the worst idea in the world. Numbers don't lie." "Our CEO loves the idea." "Luckily assumptions do lie."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Our CEO appreciates pushback. "The last thing he wants is a bunch of yes men." "Don't be afraid to stand your ground. He respects that." "My plan is to form business units around each product line." PLAN "Excuse me. We tried that once and it didn't work." "You're fired. Leave now." "Cruelty or convenience?" "I needed a cubicle to store my extra binders."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 10, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

Certified Project Management Zombie "Let's review our assumptions, risks, and constraints." "Your project management style is putting my joi de vivre at risk." "It's funny because I don't have any."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 30, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

What does MFU2 mean on your timeline? "That's Management Foul-Up number two. It usually happens around the third week." "We don't anticipate any management mistakes." "That's MFU1."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 26, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"He wasn't wearing an I.D. badge. We think he's some sort of spy." "Don't look directly at him. His power of cuteness is too strong." "Aw, geez. I say don't look and you look right at it." "Must serve baby."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 25, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

"Hi everyone. Sorry I'm late." "I have the worst case of jet lag ever. I'm still a baby in this time zone." "I don't think it works that way." "Hey, I just got a crazy idea."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 22, 2006's comic on:


View Transcript

Transcript

We can't start designing the product until someone tells us what features it should have. "That's like saying you can't play on the beach until you know how many grains of sand there are." "Um...I don't think it's very much like that." "Analogy police. Come with me." "Are you taking me to jail for making a bad analogy?" "The analogy police don't use a real jail. We use something similar." "You'll be here with this beautiful woman." "Really? That's not so bad." "She's the one being punished." "Your necktie is like Hitler at an ice rink."