Search Results for "has tail"

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

Notice: Too many results returned for your search. Displaying the first 1000 most relevant results.

Tina Has Complaints Against His Boss

Thank you for voting.
Tina Has Complaints Against His Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 19, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #complaint, #ignore, #attention, #results, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I have complaints about my boss. Many, many complaints. Catbert: Tell me about it while I pretend to listen. Tina: Then you will look into my complaints? Catbert: Is there any way you would know if I didn't?

Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes

Thank you for voting.
Lots Of Things Happening Behind The Scenes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 21, 2017's comic on:


Tags #human resources, #results, #confidentiality, #progress, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: I complained about my boss two months ago. Has Human Resources done anything about it? Catbert: Lots of confidential things are happening behind the scenes. Tina: For example? Catbert: For example, we talked about how much of a whiner you are.

Fix It With Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Fix It With Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 07, 2017's comic on:


Tags #marketing, #lying, #ethics, #advertising, #deception, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Our product has fewer features and a higher price compared to our competitors. Boss: We'll fix that with a little thing I call "marketing." Dilbert: Lying is unethical. Boss: That's why we only mislead.

App For A Better Boss

Thank you for voting.
App For A Better Boss  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 01, 2017's comic on:


Tags #technology, #invention, #mind control, #neural interface

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The neural interface is live. His brain is now communicating with his phone. Alice: He's sending me a brain-text. It says "Please help me. My phone has taken control of my body." Dilbert: It worked! Alice: Now we just need to write an app that makes him a better boss.

Boss Gets A Troll

Thank you for voting.
Boss Gets A Troll  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 23, 2017's comic on:


Tags #troll, #social media, #trolling, #insult, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This idiot keeps insulting me on social media! Every time I block him, he returns with a new account. It's like he never has anything better to do. Dilbert: Do you have a new hobby? Wally: It's more like a passion.

Wally Works On Stealth Clothing

Thank you for voting.
Wally Works On Stealth Clothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 2017's comic on:


Tags #invisibility, #attendance, #deception, #laziness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a bid to design stealth clothing for the military. Wally: Ooh! Ooh! I volunteer to work on that project. Boss: Um... okay. Narrator: One month later. Boss: Your attendance has been poor lately. Wally: Here's where I teach you about "reasonable doubt."

Troll Has No Job

Thank you for voting.
Troll Has No Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2017's comic on:


Tags #troll, #trolling, #social media, #twitter, #tweet, #time, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This troll on twitter refuses to let me have the last word. What kind of job does this idiot have that he can do this all day long??? Give me a few minutes here. Wally: Take your time.

Wally Likes Sitting

Thank you for voting.
Wally Likes Sitting  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #standing desk, #health, #sitting, #standing

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The company has authorized the purchase of standing desks for employees who want them. Wally: Literally the only good thing about this job is that I can do it while sitting down. Boss: How did you get to this meeting? Wally: Your chair doesn't have wheels?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2017's comic on:


Tags #laziness, #accomplishment, #narcissist, #narcissism, #review, #firing, #excuse

View Transcript

Transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

Doctor And Dopamine

Thank you for voting.
 Doctor And Dopamine - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 15, 2017's comic on:


Tags #addiction, #impulse control, #social media, #twitter, #facebook, #pharmaceuticals, #drugs, #gambling, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

Doctor: The MRI shows that your brain has been hijacked by dopamine pirates. You are now under the full control of social media corporations, gambling casinos, and big pharma. Boss: Are you writing me a prescription? Doctor: No, I'm buying stock in those companies.