Business Idea Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Business Idea

View 951 - 960 results for business idea comic strips. Discover the best "Business Idea" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #tired, #exhausted, #research, #lie, #avoid work, #lab report, #meeting, #write down, #science, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm exhausted from all of the basic research I'm doing." Wally says, "It's too bad that the value of my work won't be quantifiable for another ten years." The Boss says, "I'd like to see your lab report." Wally says, "So? the new rule is that we write down stuff?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #presentation, #slide show, #names, #trademarked, #hand motion, #crotch area, #wide eyes, #shocked, #gross, #point, #war criminals, #nicknames, #partnerless loving, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "This next slide shows all of the possible names for our product that are not already trademarked." The Boss says, "Are there any that don't remind people of this general area of the human body?" Dilbert says, "That narrows it down to the names of accused war criminals, and the funnier nicknames for partnerless loving."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #technical jargon, #lame, #condescending, #integration layer, #insult, #head, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "This week I mapped our applications to our domains and defined the interface between our applications and our software environment." Wally says, "Whatever you did this week probably seems lame compared to all of that." Wally says, "The stuff I'm doing is way up here in what's called in the integration layer." The Boss says, "What's he's been reading?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #employee satisfaction, #chart, #point, #fire, #smart people, #stupid, #celebrate, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Employee satisfaction has doubled since last year!" The Boss says, "The credit goes to our new program of firing smart people." Alice says, "You're safe." Coworker says, "Yeff!!!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #therapy, #cellphone, #apps, #crazy, #marketing, #steve jobs, #worried, #lie down, #business, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina says, "I can't stop buying phone apps that I don't need. Am I crazy?" Therapist says, "Yes, you are totally batspit crazy. You'll need many sessions." Therapist says, "Steve Jobs isn't the only one who can do marketing."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #project, #coordinate, #give up, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Make sure you coordinate with the brand manager and the category manager." The Boss says, "And also the clients, the account execs, the project leaders, strategic planning, facilities management, product managers, marketing, and I.T." Dilbert says, "All I heard was 'give up.'" The Boss says, "Let's meet again in a year."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #rolling forecast, #worthless, #sarcasm, #meeting, #snork, #laugh, #drink coffee, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I've decided to move to a rolling forecast." Dilbert says, "So, the problem is that forecasts are worthless, and your solution is to do more of them?" Dilbert says, "If my sarcasm is a problem, I can solve that by doing more of it." Wally says, "SNORK"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #public speaking class, #meeting, #habits, #personalities, #robots, #Fun, #sarcastic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "I'm sending all of you to a public speaking class." The Boss says, "They will rid you of your nervous habits? and, with any luck, your personalities too. You will become indistinguishable from robots." Alice says, "Is that as fun as it sounds?" Asok says, "Get out of my head!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #car rental, #reserve, #car insurance, #overpriced gas, #honest, #clown car, #ashtray

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I reserved a mid-sized sedan." Man says, "We don?t care what you reserved. We're in the business of selling car insurance and overpriced gas." Dilbert says, "That's refreshingly honest." Man says, "I can get you into a clown car or an ashtray on wheels."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #customer, #wear jacket, #lazy, #optimism, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I'm on my way to a meeting with a prospective customer." Wally says, "We have such a long sales gestation period that the value of my efforts won't be known for two years." Wally says, "Just remember that optimism looks exactly like doing nothing."