Enter Meeting Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

970 Results for Enter Meeting

View 951 - 960 results for enter meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Enter Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Ear Piece

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Ear Piece - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #answers, #blockchain, #business, #ear piece, #evil, #ignorance, #managers & supervisors, #smart, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: later i have a meeting about blockchain and i don't understand anything about it. i'll be wearing this earpiece, and i want you to feed me smart lines. dilbert at home talking to dogbert: do you want to do something evil? dogbert: say no more. give me that.

Boss Bluffs On Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #blockchain, #byte, #code, #consensus, #bluff

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.

Wally Hates His App

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Hates His App - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #application, #stop, #fix, #hate, #developers, #need, #problem solving

View Transcript

Transcript

wally speaking in meeting: i spent all week trying to sign into an app that stopped working for some reason. boss: but you got it to work in the end? wally: no, all i did was learn to hate the developers. boss: how do you plan to solve that? wally drinking coffee: i don't need to. it isn't an app i need.

Coffee Productivity

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Coffee Productivity - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #business, #projects, #productive, #medical, #coffee, #lie, #medical-grade coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

wally in meeting with boss and dilbert: i've been highly productive since switching to medical-grade coffee. i finished all of my projects and did an excellent job on every one. boss: wow! dilbert and wally in hall after: so that stuff actually makes you more productive? wally: no, but it does make me lie better.

No Performance Reviews

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Performance Reviews  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #employment, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #Political, #social, #opinions, #ranking, #acceptable

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in staff meeting: the company will no longer do performance reviews. from now on, you will be ranked on the acceptability of your political and social opinions. dilbert: do you have a list of acceptable opinions? boss: there will be no hints.

Wally Answers Texts Later

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Answers Texts Later  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #lazy, #working, #ignore, #text, #email, #response, #data

View Transcript

Transcript

asok: i rarely see you working. how do you get away with it? wally: it's easy. i just wait a day before answering any texts or emails. for example, here's alice asking if i can attend a meeting in an hour. i'll answer her in the morning and say i didn't see her message. And here's dilbert asking me for some data. tomorrow, i will text him to ask for clarification, and he will tell me he found the data on his own. asok: don't you feel guilty? wally: nah. they'd do the same to me. asok: and do they? wally: they would if i didn't ignore them first.

Alice Needs A Snack

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Alice Needs A Snack - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #decision, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #break, #hungry, #snack

View Transcript

Transcript

alice: i'm too hungry to make good decisions. i need a break so i can eat a snack. boss: how do you know your decisions are bad? alice: i'm starting to agree with you. boss: i don't understand. alice is gone: exactly

Traumatic Story

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Traumatic Story - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mental health, #sales, #sales personnel, #business, #technology, #salesman, #traumatic, #experience, #child, #story, #relate, #manipulate, #emotions, #short-circuit, #critical, #thinking

View Transcript

Transcript

salesman in meeting: before i tell you about our newest product, i'd like to tell you a story about a traumatic experience i had as a child. wally: is your story related to the topic, or is it just an excuse to yammer about something that happened to you? salesman: i'm trying to manipulaye your emotions to short-circuit your critical thinking. wally: okay. carry on.

No Need To Zoom

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
No Need To Zoom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #technology, #video call, #voice call, #email, #texting, #zoom, #meeting, #update, #team, #laptop, #cell phone, #link, #progress

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'll schedule a zoom call with the whole team tomorrow to give the update. dilbert: or you could tell me tomorrow, and i'll tell the rest of the team on our noon zoom call. boss: um, okay. i'll send you a zoom link tomorrow. dilbert: does our call need to be a video call? can we do a voice call? boss: well, yes, i guess we could just do a voice call. dilbert: do we need to talk, or can you just send me an an email? boss: i suppose i could just send you an email. dilbert: okay. we're making progress. now, have you heard of "texting"?

Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dlbert Prefers The Pandemic  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #health & safety, #pandemic, #end, #meet, #new, #people, #focus, #friends, #prefer

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and dogbert on a walk. dilbert: i don't want the pandemic to end because i kind of prefer not meeting new people. dogbert: don't focus on the end of the pandemic. maybe it's really about the friends you didn't make along the way.