Hard Working Employee Comic Strips - Page 96

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Hard Working Employee

View 951 - 960 results for hard working employee comic strips. Discover the best "Hard Working Employee" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #art education, #engineers, #inventions, #humans do cretaive, #robots, #technology work, #liberal arts majors, #origami, #game

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Someday robots will do all of the technology work and humans will only do creative jobs. If you engineers work hard, someday the spoils will go to the liberal arts majors who partied while you studied. I hear good things about origami. It's not too late to get into that game.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2014's comic on:


Tags #computers & peripherals, #frustration, #inventions, #no sense, #standard turing test, #upset, #company strategy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: My software can't pass a standard Turing test yet, but it does pass the pointy-haired boss test. Computer, I have a question about our company strategy. Computer: Try working smarter. Dilbert: That doesn't even make sense! CEO: I wasn't prepared to like it, but you won me over.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 02, 2014's comic on:


Tags #choosing, #competition (psychology), #start up, #pay half, #stay or go

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: A start-up offered to pay me half of what I make now, plus equity in a company that has no value. Boss: I will double that if you stay! Dilbert: I decided to stay, but it was hard to feel good about it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 13, 2014's comic on:


Tags #happiness, #optimism, #rested, #feeling, #never happened, #flow, #dance, #sing, #light, #work, #office, #employee, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Happy, happy, happy. Dilbert: I'm enjoying a bubble of optimism because I'm feeling rested and no one has been awful to me all day! Wally: How long does it usually last? Dilbert: I don't know. It's never happened before!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 21, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free food, #bus service, #massages, #smart, #ambitious people, #earplugs

View Transcript

Transcript

Ratbert: When I die, I hope to go to Google. I would spend eternity with free food, bus service, and massages. Dogbert: And you would always be around smart, ambitious people. Ratbert: That's okay. I'll bring earplugs.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employee fringe benefits, #google, #free bus service, #telecommuniting

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I hired a guy who worked at Google because he said he was driven. Dilbert: Because they have free bus service? Has he shown up for work yet? Boss: I thought he was telecommuting.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 25, 2014's comic on:


Tags #died years ago, #exoskeleton project, #inventions, #obliviousness, #taking bones

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is Barry. He has been working on our exoskeleton project for five years. Dilbert: Evidently Barry died years ago, and his exoskeleton keeps taking his bones to meetings. Boss: In my defense, that is only obvious after you say it.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 04, 2014's comic on:


Tags #apathy, #complaining, #dump, #speak mind, #coffe mug, #demand id, #Opinion, #victory lap

View Transcript

Transcript

Exit Interview Employee: Heh-heh. I am going to speak my mind and dump on everyone. Boss: Give me our I.D. and get out. If anyone wanted your opinion I would have paid you enough to stay. Employee: So much for my victory lap. Boss: You forgot your mug!

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 15, 2014's comic on:


Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #power (social sciences), #boss, #emplyee, #team members, #decisions, #all equal, #saprtacus, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I dislike the words "boss" and "employee." From now on, we are all "team members." I'll be the team member that makes the decisions and gets paid the most. You'll be the team members I punish when things go wrong. Dilbert: But otherwise we are all equal? Boss: Whoa! Calm down, Spartacus.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 2014's comic on:


Tags #cruelty, #leadership, #managers, #managers & supervisors, #choices, #bullying, #60 hour week, #fatique, #lower quality, #enlightened leader, #work fewer hours, #better outcome, #illusion, #created by underlings, #abuse, #pian, #enforcement, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You have an interesting choice today. You can continue bullying me into working sixty hours per week... while knowing that fatigue will lower the quality of my work. Or you can be an enlightened leader and encourage me to work fewer hours for a better net outcome. Boss: I'm not supposed to tell you this, but... leadership is an illusion created by the abuse of underlings. The more pain I force you to endure, the more of a leader I appear to be. How's the truth feel? Dilbert: Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!